Be Brave
by evercanada
Summary: Violet Mellark is visiting her family in District 12 but has an admirer follow her home. She'll have to deal with him as well as break important news to her parents.
1. Chapter 1

It's going to be dark by the time I reach District 12. My parents will probably be asleep as they are such early risers. I could have dozed off myself for part of the trip if I didn't have to stay on alert. Those sea green eyes were watching my every move. From the moment I sat down on the train he had his eyes locked on me. Like a hunter studying his prey. He should know better. I am Violet Mellark. I am nobody's prey.

I have kept my distance during the whole trip. A few glances in his direction but I did not give him the satisfaction of meeting his stares. Stares are nothing new to me but his were more intense than usual. It wouldn't take a Capitol scientist to know what he was thinking.

The one time I rose from my seat to go to the lavatory his hungry gaze almost made me think he was going to follow me. I did manage to note exactly what he looked like on the way. He was older than me although most people would guess only by a few years. Green eyes, dark brown hair complimented by lighter streaks of brown, wearing a dark jacket and black pants. He was striking enough for me to know women usually come to him. I imagine all he has to do is give them a sly smile and they're falling all over themselves to please him. I have never been one to fall for any man let alone one that doesn't even have to try. Maybe that's what he find so intriguing about me.

We are just a few minutes away from District 12 when I notice he throws a large leather bag over his shoulder. I smile knowing that will only slow down my pursuer.

The familiar voice announces over the speaker that we have arrived. We must now disembark and that the next stop is District 13. Such a cold district. I have never gotten used to sleeping underground. Fortunately my family and I have never had to spend more that one night at a time there.

My luggage is going to be sent over in the morning to my parents' house. My father had that arranged for me since I was coming in so late this time. He's always thinking of me. He didn't even know how it would give me an advantage this time. With nothing to carry my body will be free to make a run for it as soon as I need to. I have a feeling I will need every piece of luck I can get to make it to the Victor's Village without being cornered by this one first.

I can feel my face burn as I rush to be one of the first passengers off the train. I'm pleased when I see through the window that he's been stopped by an older couple and is now caught in conversation. I tuck my hands in my pockets and set off in the direction of home.

I am nearly all the way home when I hear faint footsteps behind mine. It took him long enough to catch up. I don't need to turn around to check if it's the same man on the train. There is no doubt in my mind.

I quicken my pace and listen to see if he quickens his. He does. So I start to jog in the darkness. This must have annoyed him as I hear him groan and his feet noisily shift along the road in my direction. Carrying that large bag has made it difficult to keep up to my pace.

I run around the last corner and see the street lights of the Village ahead. He would be a fool to try anything once I reach the lights. But then again he did follow me all the way here.

My heart is racing as I reach the flowering bushes that enclose the neighborhood I grew up in. I don't enjoy this feeling as much as I thought I would. Chasing me down like an animal. I'm better than this. I am the daughter of the Mockingjay. Maybe I should remind him of this.

I stop just past the bushes and turn to face my pursuer, my cheeks flush from my sudden physical exertion. Just as I think he's going to run right into me he skids to a halt a few feet away. Ha, not as fearless as he though he was.

I knew I would make it here before him. I could have easily made it all the way home if I kept going. I don't know if it was because of his age or the bag but he's breathing quite hard.

As he attempts to slow his breathing down he takes a step closer to me. I meet the look in his eyes. I swallow and take a step backwards. I know exactly what that look means and he's crazy if he thinks I'm going down that easily. He's about a head taller than me but I've got my mother's fight and quick wit, which comes in handy in times when I could be attacked at any moment like this.

He doesn't even seem to realize how close we are to my parents' house. The closest house is actually my father's old house. Once in awhile guests stay there but I know no one is staying there right now. I keep that thought in the back of my head.

A bundle of nerves is taking over my stomach as he takes another step closer. A wicked grin widens over his golden-tanned face. Now I'm not sure if I should stand my ground, keep backing up or just run for it. I weigh my options and decide it would be safest to be in my father's old house.

He's almost within an arms reach but he has stopped in front of my invisible force field. His eyes narrow and have turned from thinking something sinister to longing for something he desires. I'll have to pick the right moment to run or he'll have me in his arms before I know it.

I decide it would be fun to taunt him. "I think your odds of catching me would be better without that bag." He ponders this for a second and moves his hands to pull the bag off his shoulder. That's when I bolt for the house.

"Damn you," he yells at me. I can't help but let out a victorious laugh. He starts after me but I have already put a good amount of distance between us. I sprint down the lit road and veer in the direction of my father's house. It's the darkest house without as much as the glow from a night lantern. I smirk knowing I could probably find a million places to hide inside. It would take him ages to hunt me down.

I'm nearly vibrating by the time I reach the door and I almost can't turn the doorknob. But I do and get inside before he can reach me.

I smile at my victory and turn to face the door. I could lock it but this game has gone on long enough.

**_Rated M just in case for future chapters.  
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	2. Chapter 2

**_Ok, I've rewritten this chapter and edited it a few times. I think it fits the first chapter better and where this story is going. _**

I thought by not locking the door I would be the one to end the game. But no. My parents came to my rescue. Apparently they were awake and had noticed one figure outside chasing another. Ever the good Samaritans they decided to rush outside as well and they quickly discovered my prospective attacker.

For whatever reason instead of sending him away or placing him under protective custody they greeted him like he was an old family friend. Then they invited him in to their own home to sleep in my bed as the 'guest house not fit for a human being' as my mother so kindly put it. They had no time to prepare the guest house for anyone to stay in so they wouldn't dare put someone they apparently thought so highly of in it. If you don't count me that is. This is where I was sent to spend the night, alone, stewing over the preferential treatment he's been given.

I glared at his last smirk at me as my parents led him into their home. I take solace in the fact that he'll get what he deserves when morning comes. I'll make sure of that.

My luggage is going to arrive in the morning at my parents and all of my other clothes are in my room. There is no way I am going all the way over there for them so I search my parents old drawers in my father's old room. My one bit of luck is I am able to find my mother's old pajamas so I slip on a tank top and shorts and slide into my father's old bed.

The trip here was long and disappointingly uneventful, even with that little game he started. All I want to do is sleep and forget.

My eyes aren't closed for long when I hear a creak from downstairs. My heart skips a beat. Maybe our game isn't over. If it's who I think it is, he's braver than I gave him credit for. Sneaking past my parents is no simple feat.

I could put up another fight and hide or lock the door but my body is heavy with want for sleep. So I keep my eyes closed and wait. Waiting for what will come first, sleep or him.

If he wanted to take me by surprise he is sorely mistaken. For the next few minutes all I hear are lights flicking on and off and doors opening as he searches for me. I could have easily slipped out through a window by now. The desire and energy I had earlier has completely faded to keep playing this game. Unfortunately with all the noise he's made I can't make myself fall asleep either.

Finally his footsteps stop when he reaches my door. I turn away from the door and lay as still as I can covered by the blanket up to my chin.

My door shifts open and I can hear his faint breathing.

Maybe I'm not so tired. I want to see what his plan is now that he's made it this far.

The door quietly closes behind him. "Finally," he mumbles under his breath.

I bite my lip to stop from letting a laugh out. He walks over to the bed so he's right behind me.

He slips off his shoes and remarks, "Next time I'm going to put a tracking device on you." He sounds a little angry it took so long to find me. As if it would have made a difference if he knew exactly where I was. I heard him coming. He's as loud as a bear and I would have had plenty of time to get away. But I don't say a word. I still feign that I am fast asleep.

The bed sinks under his weight as he climbs on top of me with his limbs surrounding my body.

He leans in so I can feel his warm breath on my neck, "I know you're awake."

He doesn't know that. I haven't moved or breathed in the slightest.

A deep chuckle escapes his throat, "Tsk, tsk, Mellark. You honestly think I'm going to fall for this trick." Yes, please. I just want him to leave me alone so I can get some sleep.

My hair is moved gently away from neck and the next thing I feel is his nose nuzzling under my ear. They he lays soft kisses up and down my neck. I close my fists to keep from moving involuntarily.

He nibbles on my ear and I press my lips together to hide any sounds I may utter that would only encourage him. I struggle to keep my breath from giving me away.

He starts a pattern of licking and then sucking on my neck and that's when I've had enough. He can do what he wants with me but I am not going to let him leave a mark on me that's exposed to the world.

He has me trapped under the blankets so I all I can manage to do is roll on my back to face him and take away his opportunity to mark me. He flashes a grin as our eyes meet. "I knew you were awake."

I give the first response I can think of. "I just woke from a horrible nightmare. I was being licked by an old ugly hairy dog."

My eyes have adjusted to the dark and I can see his face clearly. His smiles fades and his eyes glaze over. I know that look. He's not mad at my remark. Quite the opposite.

My stomach turns in knots at the thought of what he's going to do next to me. I breathe in anticipation as his tongue licks the surface of my lips. There is no way he is going to let me sleep anytime soon.

He starts kissing me slowly, smoothly exploring my mouth with his tongue. His tongue starts to massage mine and I wish he didn't have me trapped. He rests the weight of his chest on mine. I realize how much bigger he is when he is on top of me. Even if I tried to push him off I would fail.

His kisses deepen and I release an unconscious moan. He pulls back slightly and I can feel him smile on my mouth. "I want to feel more of you. Promise not to run."

"Why would I run? It's not like I'm being held against my will," I say innocently.

He looks down at the blankets and sighs. "You're so much more easier to handle when you can't move."

I do not want to think of the things he do to me if I really couldn't move. I need him to release me. "I promise I won't run if you let me out," I give in.

He thinks this over and pushes the blanket to the side of the bed. He still hovering over me but I have full use of my arms now. I look to the side of him. He's is bigger and stronger but I am faster. I could slip out underneath...

"Stop planning your escape," he says as he interrupts exactly that.

I look at him defiantly, "I wasn't."

He shakes his head, "I know you Mellark."

I cross my arms over my chest. My body is burning with embarrassment. I am not giving in to him that easily. I hate it when people make assumptions about me. "You don't know anything about me."

This seems to have perked his interest as his eyes sparkle. "I know you better than you know yourself Mellark."

He leans down and kisses me ever so softly under my ear again. Then his kisses follow a path to my mouth. Just as I open my lips expecting to find his he pauses.

I close them tightly remembering I am not giving in to him.

One of his hands comes up to my face and brushes away a strand of long black hair. "I know you hate brushing your hair."

He glances at my eyes to see how unimpressed I am. Who doesn't know that about me? I'm in the news every other week with unkempt hair. Much to the dismay of my well-put together brother. He didn't have to put up with years of braids.

He momentarily looks up as he tries to think of more things and our eyes meet as he has an answer.

"I know you love the woods more than anything, your favorite color is green, you can't sing to save your life, you hate District 4 and can't wait to move back to 12, you want Panem and your parents to think you're still an innocent girl but I know there is nothing innocent about you, you're so much like your mother you can't accept it, and you're terrified of tomorrow."

Somehow his little speech has just made my situation very real. No one knows those things about me. I've never let anyone in close enough to know those things. And yet he knows. And I hate that he's said them aloud, confessing what he knows right to my face.

My chest tightens and my face drops. Any scrap of feeling of feeling I did have for him has been buried and sent to a dark and cold place and if he says one more thing I'm going to make sure he goes there next.

He searches my eyes for why I am responding this way. "Vi, I didn't mean to..."

"Well you did," I hiss at him.

An all too familiar sting enters my eyes. Something else I suppose my mother and I share.

I don't want him to see me cry so I wriggle to other the side of the bed. He lets me go easily knowing now is not a time for him to try and overpower me. I sit up and turn as far away from him as physically possible.

I hear him sit up behind me as well. "Tell me what you're thinking. I thought we were always going to be honest with each other."

I'll be honest with him. "I think you should leave."

"I am not leaving," he says firmly. "Just talk to me."

There is no way he wants to hear what I have to say right now if he knew what I was really thinking. On the other hand...

"You're spoiled. The most spoiled man I've ever met."

He chuckles a little. He's not brave. He's stupid. He just started a fire burning inside of me and if he's not careful he's going to get burnt.

"You've have more women in your bed then any honest man should have."

He hisses in as if I've just stabbed him, "That hurts." I'm only getting started.

"You think you're a gift to women, you take advantage of your looks and your parents' fame to get what you want, you walk around everyday as if you're the most perfect person ever born, you do whatever you want to get what you want and you get away with it." I choke out the last words but I know he's heard me.

I hold my breath waiting for his response. Maybe not everything I said is true now but it once was. A full minute has passed and he hasn't said a word. Slowly I twist around to see if he's still there or if he somehow slipped out during my verbal assault.

Plastered on his face is an amused smile. Shock does not begin to describe how I feel about his response. I just relinquished my worst thoughts about him and he's smiling.

"Feel better?"

"What?"

He shifts closer to me and takes my hands in his. "Now that we got that out of the way, do you feel better?"

I wish. I feel worse actually. "No."

He cups my chin and kisses me lightly on the lips. "I'm still here Violet."

I arch my eyebrow. Where is he going with this?

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. Through the good and bad. It's about time you accept it." He's proven this time and time again. You're think I'd learn my lesson by now. Every time I let him in more I try to push him away. It never works.

I look down, "I know."

He shrugs, "I'll remind you every day if that helps. What you said was mostly true. But now there's only one thing I want."

So irresistible. "I wasn't done."

He smiles coyly at me and leans back on his hands. "By all means, continue then."

I swallow. "You're favorite color is blue like the ocean in the morning, you love your mother so much it makes the rest of us look bad." He smiles. "You're patient and ... you've given up everything just to be with me."

Faster than I ever thought he could move he has both his hands on my waist and has expertly guided me to the middle of the bed.

I'm back to feeling vulnerable but with him I feel secure enough to show it. His lips crash into mine and his hands are moving to my most sensitive areas.

He buries his head in my neck. But he's talking at the same time as he's kissing me. I can barely hear what he is saying I am concentrating so much on his touch that sends shivers down my spine.

"You. Made. Another. Mistake."

My writhing has ceased as I put together everything he said. I've made dozens in the last few months. The most recent was forgetting to tell him he doesn't know when to shut up. We lock eyes as he notices my stillness.

Without faltering he tells me, "I have everything because of you. You are everything I've ever wanted." See, irresistible.

My heart swells and I wrap my hands in his hair to pull him up for a kiss.

Sleep is definitely the farthest thing from my mind. Hands start to travel up and down our bodies and clothes are shed. I let him explore my body with his mouth as much as he wants. In between panting how good he makes me feel, his full name rolls off my tongue. It only comes out during our most intimate times and he loves it.

Afterwards I rest my head on his sweaty chest. It's only a few hours until morning now and we are absolutely spent. I am more sure now than ever that we are doing the right thing. I have never felt this strong for anyone and I know I never will. I would do anything for this man.

I feel his chest rise slowly and know he's nearing sleep. I should send him back to my room so we can keep up our charade for one last night but I simply don't have the energy or heart after...

I draw circles on his chest. "Finn?"

"Hmm?"

He said it more than enough times earlier. It doesn't come as easily to me but I now feel I can say anything to him, "I love you."

He breathes in deeply. "Remember that when we tell your parents."


	3. Chapter 3

I open one eye to see if what I dreaded is true. Sunlight has crept through the blinds and morning has arrived. Finn is still fast asleep and I close my eye again in an effort to join him. This is one of the things I have learned to enjoy most. Being able to wake up next to the one I trust most in this world, still held in his warm embrace.

I'm moments from sleep when I feel him start to shift underneath me. "Don't," I breathe out.

Soft fingers start to lightly stroke my back. "Today's the big, big day, we have to get up sometime." I snuggle in closer to him. Partly, to forget what today is and partly because last night was exhausting.

He tenses underneath me. "We've been through this Violet. You agreed it was time."

Is there every really a right time to tell your parents you're sleeping with the son of the man who died saving their lives and the rest of Panem? Not that I will put it that way. We're going to tell them we're in love. That we've been together since the first day I moved to District 4. I went to apprentice the healers in the hospital. District 4 was the only one my parents would agree to as Finn promised to watch over me.

Young, innocent Violet Mellark always needing someone to watch over me. I honestly thought he would put on a show, greet me and let me be on my merry way. Given the choice of babysitting me or living true to his reputation with the opposite sex I thought for sure I would have more freedom in 4 with Finn as my supposed keeper.

It was years since I had actually seen Finn in person. He practically grew up with my parents but by the time my brother and I came along he was living his own life in 4. I knew the effect he had on women but with me, he was going to be like an older brother…so said my parents.

When I stepped off the train he greeted me like any brother would. But I couldn't take my eyes off of him. My stomach still clenches when his lips curl into that irresistible smile and his eyes look right through me. It was the first and only time I've ever felt desire for someone. There was a war in my mind as I fought off the foreign feelings and outlandish thoughts starting to take over me. He and my parents arranged for me to stay in the quarters next to him in the most secure building in District 4. And it still sits half furnished to this day as I never even spent one night there.

I was very ineffective at keeping myself busy by putting away my belongings when he knocked at my door that first night. He had prepared dinner for both of us. We ate in his quarters. He made conversation. I laughed nervously. I drank way too much. Everything after that just happened so quickly. I tried to kiss him. He made me sleep in his bed until morning when I was sober. I apologized profusely. He asked if I still wanted to kiss him. I shook my head and told him…want was not a strong enough word. He warned me. He told me if he kissed me he would never stop, he would never want for anyone else, he would never leave. And he's still here. Ready to tell my parents what I kept putting off. I should be relieved and accept his love, share it with the world. Why is being honest with my parents about this one thing so hard?

"I just want to sleep for a bit longer," I mutter. It's about my lack of sleep. Nothing else.

He relaxes and continues softly caressing my back. "Something keep you up last night?"

I smile into his chest. "Some _one_ you mean. Don't you know it's not safe for a person your age to be that active?"

He brushes the hair away from my face and runs his thumb along my jaw. "Good thing I happen to know a healer," he says.

Sure, Finn, just assume I'll save your life if you have a heart attack. I'd rather prevent it.

"I'm going to have to search the woods for something to slow you down if we're going to be together much longer."

Any sleep I thought I might get away with is forgotten when he pulls me up to him and kisses me. He starts to lay a trail of kisses down my neck to my collarbone. "You might regret that Mellark."

He continues downward until the rooms fills with moans of _Finnick._

Just as my body relaxes with his hand clasping mine I think I could care less about sleeping ever again. His beautiful face is resting beside mine and he whispers, "Although if you really want a break from this I hear marriage will do that to a man."

There's that word again. He never fails to find a time to bring it up. I'm doing enough for him just by being honest about our relationship with my parents. He needs to stop pushing me. I am not ready to go that far. I may never be and he better be prepared for it. This is nothing new to him. I've told him all of this before. But Finn Odair always gets what he wants. At least he did before he met me.

Fully awake now, I release his hand from mine and find my clothes quicker than he can ask me what I am doing. I throw his shirt at him and tell him, "I'm going to shower at my parents. You're going to shower here because you can't figure out the only new appliance my parents ever buy."

Confused he says, "I can figure anything-" My look of annoyance shuts him up. He never even bothered to think of a reason why he wasn't in his room this morning.

Silence is my only response as I dress and he tries to salvage the situation he just created by telling me he was just kidding.

Just as I'm about to leave he calls my name. I glance back annoyed only to see him stand in all his glory and smile that smile that gets me every time. "You can run…but you can't hide." He gathers his clothes and saunters into the bathroom.

I take a moment to gather myself. He knows exactly the effect he has on me.

Halfway down the stairs I notice he's left the front door open. He's been so careless since we arrived. Maybe he's more nervous than I gave him credit for. His little speech last night and especially mentioning marriage before I'm about to tell my parents about us weren't the smartest things he's done. His not-so subtle hints at marriage usually end with me grasping for air, coming up with excuse after excuse until he can calm me down. He should be thankful I just gave him the cold shoulder this time.

The grass is still wet and the primroses surrounding my parents' home are in full bloom. I've missed this familiar scene. Hunting and gathering plants in the early morning pretty much sums up my childhood. Coming home after the daily trek with my mother to enjoy the baked goods my father has prepared for us for every breakfast. After school I still just spent more time in the woods figuring out the uses of the plants, adding to the family book. Healing is in our blood according to my mother. She is still adamant it skipped her and only my late aunt and late grandmother had the same gift as me. No matter how many times my father reminds her she kept him alive all these years she still struggles with her past.

The delicious smell of my father's cooking greets me as I open the door. Then the distressed face of my fair-haired brother sitting on the stairs. "Can we talk?."

Immediately my thoughts go to his life consuming relationship with his girlfriend. Rowan is 19 and is following in my father's footsteps in every way. He's been serious about Janaya from the moment he met her and his time is always spent with her when he is not at the bakery. Trustworthy, loyal and dependable. Probably why my parents have never given him grief about being with Janaya. She's perfect for him too. She's a bit shorter than me, blonde and one of the kindest people I've ever met. But she's not afraid to speak her mind. An unexpected ball of fire. She's the only one who ever told Johanna Mason to mind her own business when the most intimidating Victor I know started to make vulgar comments about her love life with my brother.

But my skin is crawling with the remnants of last night … and this morning…so taking a shower is first and foremost on my mind. "Just give me 5 minutes."

I take a bit longer but when I find him waiting for me in the hallway outside the bathroom. Apparently what he needs to tell me is more serious than I thought. "Are you and Janaya ok?" I whisper, concerned that he doesn't want anyone else to know.

Bewildered he says, "Janaya and I? We're…" As if anyone should ever mention things aren't going well with Janaya. Just the mention of it and she's popped up beside him hugging him so tightly the world should never question the commitment she has for him.

"Hi Violet!" And she just radiates joy. Sometimes I wonder if she was created by forest faeries but only when she's reached my tolerance level for perkiness. But she loves my brother and puts up with family so I always do my best to overlook that characteristic.

Only slightly forced I smile back, "Hi Janaya."

"Come on Rowan, Finn is here too. Almost your whole family!" It's just breakfast and she looks as if she won first place in whatever Plutarch's latest competition show is.

I follow them into the dining room and hear Finn greet the eldest member of our self-composed family. My parents have always opened their home and hearts to the people from their past who have no one left.

"Hey old man!"

"Who are you calling old?" Haymitch grumbles back. The years of drinking and general aging have not been kind to him. I rather expected Haymitch to pass away years ago. Somehow he's managed to make a deal with death that keeps him in our lives. "At least I know how to work a shower." Ah, Finn must have covered our tracks with my lie. Hopefully the last one I'll have to tell. I'm not sure when I will tell them but over breakfast with everyone…not likely.

"I had to make sure I freshened up just right for you Haymitch." Finn flashes an adorable smile and goes in for a hug.

Haymitch shoos him away, "You still smell like fish."

One more thing to add to the list of things Finn has given up for me. He used to work on the ships allocated to finding new land. He would be gone for months and would come back with the distinct aroma of the sea. Since I arrived for my apprenticeship in District 4 a few months ago he had taken an undetermined amount of time off. At first it was just to help me get situated but now that he's vowed never to leave me…I never said I am definitely moving back to 12 but it's obvious to him I am and I don't have to ask if he's coming with me. I never knew how torturous it could be being away from everyone and everything you love. If I could have left 4 after the first week I would have. Having Finn with me every night has made it bearable in 4…OK, more than bearable.

My father throws his apron off and wraps me up a warm hug. Kind of what I was expecting last night, not for him and my mother to fuss over Finn. "It's great to have you back home. How long are you staying?"

He releases me and studies my face as if he hasn't seen me for years. "Just two days."

He sighs. "You have no idea how much your mother and I have missed you."

I could hardly tell last night but my insides tell me it was as much as I missed them.

He hugs me tightly again but suddenly lets out a gasp. When I turn around to see why I feel like hurting someone. Namely Finnick Odair. My mother is dressed in almost the same outfit as me as if having her face, skin, and according to Finn, temperament wasn't enough.

Just one glare from my mother's steely grey eyes and my father is warned not to say one word. He doesn't. He's very good at listening to her without her having to even speak. Briefly I wonder if Finn understands me that well.

"Violet, you never told me you had a younger sister!" Nope, he would rather die a painful death, a long painful death.

After the laughter dies down from Haymitch we all sit down at the table. My parents are at either end, Finn and Haymitch are across from Rowan, Janaya and I. I don't dare being too close to him in front of my family. Not until we have that talk anyway.

He's convinced my parents will be ecstatic. Then when we get back to 4 we'll tell his mother. She's been giving me looks lately so I'm pretty sure she is on to us. Surprising his mother really isn't in her best interest. Routine is paramount for her. She's going to miss Finn so much when we move. I don't know how I can do that to her. Maybe he can visit her on weekends. We haven't even talked about this yet. What if she wants to move here? I suppose she could-

A foot gently kicks me under the table. He can see I'm thinking too much again. I'm about to kick him back as he's really the one who deserves a good kick when Rowan suddenly stands up.

All eyes are on Rowan as he clears his throat, "I have an announcement." I blink. This is what he was going to talk to me about. He was trying to warn me.

He starts blubbering out a speech about how much he loves Janaya until Haymitch tells him just to spit it out. They're getting married. My baby brother is getting married to the love of his life.

Congratulations and hugs surround Rowan and Janaya. The only reaction I dare to take notice of is Finn's. This is what he wants. He tells Rowan how proud he is to be here for this. He goes to hug Rowan who offers Finn only his hand, "Thanks Finnick. You're like family too so I'm glad you're here. Right Violet? Don't you think Finnick is like family?" Of course, the way our parents go on and on about Finn you'd think he was their favorite child.

I have no idea what to say to that. Nor what to say about his announcement. I knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time. They love each other as much as anyone has loved each other before. But now the pressure was on me a million times more than before. All of Panem wants to know when the daughter of the star-crossed lovers from District 12 is going to find a man and settle down. My parents worry themselves sick that I'm making the right decisions in all aspects of my life, especially my love life. The simplest solution to me was not to have one. Finn merely put a bump in that plan. But no one knows that. I don't have to say anything today. And I won't.


	4. Chapter 4

**_I wrote this kind of quickly but hopefully you all still like it.  
_**

But I say nothing. I don't know what to think or say. I knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time. They love each other as much as anyone has before. But now the pressure was on me a million times more than before. All of Panem wants to know when the daughter of the star-crossed lovers from District 12 is going to find a man and settle down. My parents worry themselves sick that I'm making the right decisions in all aspects of my life, especially my love life. The simplest solution to me was not to have one. Finn merely put a bump in that plan. But no one knows that. I don't have to say anything today. And I won't.

My lifeless response did not go unnoticed. Haymitch commented quickly that I looked as delighted as my mother on her first reaping day. Surprised he even remembers that day. My parents kept trying to guide the attention back to the lovely couple sitting next to me but he wouldn't let up. _Upset you're little brother is getting married before you? Step outside sweetheart… I'll bet my last bottle of whiskey you'll find a man ready to propose…Hell, we could make a show out of it! Why didn't I think of this before? Plutarch would eat this up… And the odds would in be your favor…You'd have hundreds falling at your feet…Of course, you've have to fake a little sunny disposition now and then…The viewers aren't just going to love you forever because you're the daughter of star-crossed lovers…_

I've never felt more nauseous in my life. With the mention of _star-crossed lovers_ my parents escort Haymitch back to his house. Just as they are out of sight I retreat to the washroom. I stay in my white-tiled sanctuary for the rest of the morning. I have my reasons. Every once in a while I hear a soft knock at the door. Reassurances follow that Haymitch isn't welcome back until his demeanor is more civilized, my brother's engagement is just that, my brother's, they understand how I feel about it but it would be nice if I could just put on a happy face for him. They make a good point but those are only minute problems at this point.

It's going to happen. No matter how hard I try to ignore it. It happens all the time, every day. Everyone has expectations of me. To be just like my mother or father. To have a romance just like theirs. The world is on watch for it. Some days the black screen on the wall makes me feel like Panem's happiness depends on me finding someone. I have found someone. Someone I trust and love, I just don't feel like telling anyone, ever. It's not for the rest of the world to comment on and spread rumors about how far along I am with his child. I don't want the world examining my relationship with Finn. I am quite capable of dissecting it myself.

When I feel my stomach stir at it's emptiness I instruct myself to take 10 deep breaths and a tentative sip of water every few minutes to prepare for leaving my safe haven. Now that Haymitch has been banished I should have nothing to fear. His opinion doesn't matter anyway. My brother is getting married. I'm not. I should be happy for him. I will be happy. I will remind myself of this for as long as it takes to become real.

With as much caution as my mother stalks her prey I search for the family I abandoned this morning. After I grab a cheese bun in the kitchen I find Finn, Rowan and Janaya in the living area on opposite couches. Finn's jaw is clenched in that stubborn way when he's most annoyed. Not surprising. And Rowan's face is just as tight. Why shouldn't he be irritated as well? His only sister hasn't even congratulated him. Janaya is curled up against Rowan, glowing, as usual.

Their eyes all flicker to me when I coil up in the corner of the couch. Finn is on the opposite end and makes no movement to shift closer.

I swallow my embarrassment and begin my apology. "I'm really sorry Rowan, Janaya. I really am happy for you two. This really is just the best news." I am really trying to sound happy for them. Janaya flashes a bright smile and I know she accepts my apology. She won't let my shameful reaction ruin her perfect engagement.

"I thought Rowan should tell you, we all know how you feel about marriage but he wanted to wait until today. He's such a romantic. Wanted to surprise everyone together. I'm sure Haymitch meant well too. His methods are just a little… eccentric." Janaya voice is so sweet I'm almost sure sugar is pumping through her veins instead of blood now.

"It's ok. It'll be the last wedding announcement I'll have to deal with for awhile." I try to laugh it off.

"Until Finnick here." Rowan nods toward my couch partner. The wave of nausea comes back with full force. What the hell has he told them?

"Apparently you've had quite the effect on Finnick since you arrived in Four, Vi. He's been telling us how his priorities have changed. No longer waking up with a different woman every morning. Man, Finnick, you haven't even been back on a boat since she arrived, have you?" I'd rather be anywhere else then here. I already know the life Finn's given up for me. The only thing I can take solace in is no one else knows why. Finn's whole body looks as tense as mine. I wonder if we're thinking the same thing. He sacrificed more than he should have for someone who has done nothing to show she deserves it.

My thoughts drift to my empty stomach and I nibble on my cheese bun as they continue their conversation. I keep my attention purely on enjoying every morsel as I do my best to pretend Finn isn't talking about how much he's changed and wants to settle down with the right person. Rowan tries to pull me onto the discussion over Finn's love life by asking what sisterly advice I have for him since we've grown so close. After I nearly choke on the last bite I say the safest and most honest thing I can think of. "I think we all know I'm the last person anyone should come to for advice." This gets a hearty laugh from Finn and Janaya.

But Rowan seems to have greater expectations of me. "Come on, Violet. You've spent the last three months with Finnick and somehow the man who never sleeps with the same woman twice hasn't had a date since you arrived. That can't be a coincidence."

Probably not. Okay, Definitely not. I've lost count the number of times we've…well it's none of Rowan's business so I'm not about to declare that Finn is perfectly capable of being in a monogamous relationship. "Guess I'm rubbing off on him. Helped him come to his senses that it's better to sleep alone than with someone you barely know. Or trust. Or that you don't know what their intentions are. Or if they're there because they want to be or because…" I am saying too much. I need to end this now. "Well, we know why most people want to be seen with us." A flush spreads across my cheeks. Great, more for Finn to psychoanalyze about me for later.

"You'll find someone too Violet. When you're ready. And I'm sure he'll be there for the right reasons. These things happen when you least expect it though." Janaya, the greatest supporter of true love dives into the story of how she knew the second she saw Rowan it was meant to be. I tune the story I've heard a thousand times out and sneak a few looks at Finn. His eyes are glazed over but he appears to be listening intently. He's only heard it a hundred times or so.

She ends the story with a kiss on Rowan's cheek. He gazes back at his angel, his soul mate. Intimate moments like this make me most uncomfortable. I hear Finn's sigh beside me and I know it's not because of his discomfort.

Rowan takes Janaya's hand in his and nods his head to Finn. "You really haven't found anyone?"

My jaw clenches as I try to telepathically let Finn know _say anything and die, say anything and die._

He gives a regrettably smile. "Still waiting. But I know she's going to be worth waiting for. And I know I'm getting close." He looks at me momentarily and my heart drops. He looks away and gives Janaya a wink that I know I would have had needed medical care for if he did it to me. "I can feel it. Any day now."

Rowan considers his answer. "So out of all the women in Four no one has caught your interest Finnick?"

Amused Finn answers, "Well I'm not just looking for anybody."

"Right, you've probably been through most of the female population there. On to a new a district then?"

Janaya responds quicker than anyone else and slaps Rowan on the chest. "Rowan!"

His cheeks are burning as I suddenly realize mine are too. This conversation took a turn somewhere and I'm trying to find out where. Rowan twisted what seemed like genuine concern for Finn finding someone to care about to accosting him for his past romances. Fleeting as they were.

Rowan mumbles an apology but that's not enough for Janaya. She orders him into kitchen for a talk. I watch in amazement as he obeys the tiny blonde faerie-like woman. She really is perfect for him. I start to feel hopeful that I can believe my mantra and be happy for them.

I look over to Finn to quietly communicate I have no idea what is going but he's obviously avoiding me. Bent over, with hands clasped, he's just staring at the floor. I can only guess now that we're alone he's not about to forgive me for my earlier indiscretion. Just waiting for when he can launch into a tirade about how I promised, how it's time, how he's waiting long enough and so on and so on. I almost believed his little speech to Janaya about how he would wait. Not that it would be any day as he so confidently stated. More like years. Based on the way I'm feeling now I wouldn't say never would be out of the question.

I crawl deeper into myself and the little hole I've reserved for when I just need to block everything out. I've already run away from this once. Twice would be unforgivable in Finn's eyes. But it's obvious to him my resolve has faded. It took him weeks to convince me to be honest. All taken away in the matter of seconds thanks to Rowan. Not my fault. I shouldn't be blamed for something I have no control over. _Guess you fell in love with the wrong girl _I think.

We can hear the muffled sounds of Rowan apologizing to Janaya. Then a door slams shut. And nothing. I look to the doorway leading to the kitchen. Apparently they're going to solve their lover's quarrel elsewhere. I'd rather not think of how.

I don't trust that we're truly alone. Before either one of us says anything we'll regret I have to be sure. "Are my parents still here?"

"With Haymitch. Letting him know he better not say another word to you if he wants another home-cooked meal today." He doesn't sound mad. In fact he sounds…like we're having a normal conversation. Not that he's disappointed with me that I've decided never to reveal anything about our relationship ever. I haven't formally announced this to him but since he claims to know me so well I shouldn't have to.

I'm still taking in his tone or lack there of when I find myself enveloped in his strong arms. My shocked face whips around to meet his smirking one. I can't decide if he going to try to persuade me to give in and tell my parents or if he's trying to make fun of this whole situation. I take a chance and ask him about him the latter. "Are you finding this…amusing?"

He gives me a light peck and his eyes are sparkling now. "I have to admit I think it might be a stroke of good luck."

He has gone crazy. He's a bit young for dementia but stranger things have happened I suppose. Studying my face he can see I don't seem to agree with or even comprehend his words. "Babe, it's ok. It's not like it's your fault he found out. Look at it this way…you don't have to say anything now. He's probably off now telling your parents."

I test the words. "My…fault. Why would it be my fault he found out? He didn't." I force out my last words slowly to make them clear. I push him back so he has to let go of me. No one is finding out today especially not with Finn wrapped around me on the couch.

My heart is racing as he looks back at me in disbelief. "Did you tell him?" I demand.

He lets out an uncharacteristic snort. "Were you not here during our little conversation? Or were you blocking it out and pretending it wasn't happening?" I want to block this insane conversation out but I need to find out exactly what hallucinations Finn has concocted.

"He didn't say anything about us Finn. He wants you to be happy. You've made it pretty obvious to the world you're not the same womanizer since…" Deep breath. I am not saying anything out loud. "You've changed. It's hard to believe but you have and he was just questioning it." Goodness knows I have and find it hard to believe.

I'm met with unconvinced eyes. "Violet…he knows."

"And what makes you think that oh wise one?"

"Well since you seem to need to avoid reality today let me fill you in on what you've missed. Your little brother hasn't let me out of his sight once today until now. I couldn't even check on you during your bathroom trip. He's kept me on this couch the entire time. Asking me question after question about you and your work and how you like in Four and how I've had to look after. How grateful he is, that he counts on me like a brother to watch out for you. Then he starts asking about me. At first I thought he was being genuine. But…and please don't tell me you didn't notice this…he wouldn't let up on calling me Finnick. Nobody calls me that. Except you. Except when we…" His voice drifts off and the pieces of the puzzle come together.

Last night we were alone. I wasn't that loud and we were in a completely different house. This morning we were alone. His tongue felt so good I couldn't help it. I left him and the door… the door was open. The face of my upset blonde-haired brother is the last piece. He didn't need to talk about his relationship. He needed to talk about mine.

It all fits. Finn wasn't careless. I was. I let my guard down and released my secret for my intruding brother to hear. Well now that he knows my secret one of us is going to die before I let him tell anyone else.


	5. Chapter 5

Last night we were alone. I wasn't that loud and we were in a completely different house. This morning we were alone. His tongue felt so good I couldn't help it. I left him and the door… the door was open. The face of my upset blonde-haired brother is the last piece. He didn't need to talk about his relationship. He needed to talk about mine.

It all fits. Finn wasn't careless. I was. My brother knows and one of us is going to die before I let him tell anyone else.

The world could have imploded in the time it took me to take another breath. Finn's hand on my knee brings me back to life. I clasp onto his hand with more force than I intend to. "We have to stop him."

He shapes his voice to sound as comforting as possible just like the time my pet rabbit died and my father had to break the news to me. "I'm pretty sure it's too late for that. He took off pretty suddenly with Janaya. It's only a matter of time before he tells her and…"

I bolt to the door before Finn can say another word. Barefooted I sprint to Haymitch's house and let myself in. The one person I could have cared less if I ever saw is the only one sitting in the living room. "Well if isn't Miss I'd rather hide in a bathroom then show a little respect for my brother on one of the most important days of his life."

Respect. How I would love to make this his last day. But I won't let him distract me from my true purpose. "Where are my parents? Was Rowan here?"

He takes his precious time drinking a clear liquid from a clear glass before he answers annihilating the smallest amount of hope I was still counting on. "Left a few minutes ago. He got them all in huff and they all rushed out of here like their house was on fire."

My shoulders drag me down into the nearest chair. How could he do this to me? Why didn't he just take the time to talk to me? Soon the whole world will know. There is only option left for me. I can deny it. His word against mine. Finn will take my side. Maybe.

"Need a drink?"

"I need more than a drink. Going back in time for starters."

He lips curl into a knowing smile. "Before the happy couple made their announcement?"

I bury my hands into my head. "No, you wouldn't understand."

He mocks astonishment. "Something's got you in a panic more than that? If I can guess do I win a prize?"

I glare at him through my dark hair hanging over my eyes. My life is over and all he can do is rub salt in my wounds.

"Let me see…you're secretly in love Janaya…no. She's too nice for you. You've decided to give up being a healer and star in a TV show…nah. Besides your stage fright you can't even sing, you'd get slaughtered in the ratings. Hmm…" He scratches his chin as his brain ponders the next most ridiculous explanation. I'd take any idea he could come up with over the truth.

With one finger in the air he grins and utters the last thing I would have expected. "You've got your own secret lover boy and are too much of a coward to admit it. Am I getting close?"

My jaw goes slack at how he's just grazed the truth with his guess. He laughs smugly. "What about this one? You met him Four, changed his life, let him follow you like a puppy dog every where you go…even here…but now that there's an upcoming union in your family the pressure is getting to you. You want to back out of it and just don't know how to let him down gently? Anything there ring a bell sweetheart?"

All the blood has now drained from my face. Somehow the most oblivious person I know has come up with the most plausible observation. "I…I don't know what you're implying Haymitch but-"

"Bah, I saw him sneak him into the guest house last night. Then the pair of you come out this morning from the same house. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what he was doing there." I cover my mouth to hold back the nausea that is practically like second nature to me today. This one is all on Finn. I really blame him for both. If he could just keep his hands…and tongue…to himself no one would have any inclination of our relationship.

Why did I ever agree to let him come with me? Why didn't I kick him out last night? The real question is why am I still sitting here without any dramatics going on around me? "Do they know?" I whisper.

He swats away my question like a bothersome fly. "Clueless as ever. Don't worry, I'll keep your tryst a secret. Just don't come crying to me when you break his heart."

This isn't some tryst. Finn and I are in a committed relationship. Sure there seems to be a select few I would like to do away with whom now have wind there is even something going on, but it's committed nonetheless. Wait…why would I break his heart? He's the womanizer. "Why are you assuming _I'm_ the one who would break _his _heart?" Rowan at least seemed to have a better grasp on who the heartbreaker is.

"I've known that boy longer than you. He knows the pain his mother is in everyday…losing her one and only love. You think you're the only one who tried to avoid falling in love? Those women were just distractions to keep from finding something real. You and your mother. Always find a man who would give everything including his life for you. I knew something happened when you went there. Never crossed my mind he'd actually fallen for you until I saw the stupid grin on his face when you walked in the kitchen."

I rest my head between my knees to brace myself for the next wave of queasiness. Haymitch does deserve a prize for illustrating what I try to avoid on a daily basis. Finn loves me more than I deserve and what do I do to show it? Dig a fifty foot cave underground to hide what he desperately wants to shout from the rooftops.

"Please take my advice sweetheart. Tell him sooner rather than later so he can at least get on with the few years he has left to find someone who will love him back."

This Haymitch has all wrong. My head rises up as I struggle not to spit out the words Finn deserves. I do. I love him. I'm his someone and he's mine. "It's not that. It's that…you know. Rowan knows. By now my parents know. I didn't want them to find out like this…"

He laughs once. "They don't know nothing. Rowan took them to pick up Janaya's family at the station. It was another surprise and they were late."

One tiny sparkle of hope dances in my heart. "But you said you didn't know what they were in a huff about?"

"No I didn't. I just didn't tell you what they were in a huff about. One is a lie. One is leaving out the truth." Like not telling my parents about Finn. Just leaving out the truth. Not lying. It's not like they've asked me if I'm seeing Finn or not. I'm starting to like the way Haymitch thinks.

I run back to my parents' house for my shoes and to let Finn know the good news. Our secret is safe with Haymitch and I still have a chance to put things right.


	6. Chapter 6

"No I didn't. I just didn't tell you what they were in a huff about. One is a lie. One is leaving out the truth." Like not telling my parents about Finn. Just leaving out the truth. Not lying. It's not like they've asked me if I'm seeing Finn or not. I'm starting to like the way Haymitch thinks.

I run back to my parents' house for my shoes and to let Finn know the good news. Our secret is safe with Haymitch and I still have a chance to put things right.

"Isn't this easier than you telling them? You don't have to say a word; they find out, everyone's happy. Let life happen the way it's supposed to for once. We all get what we want and I can move to Twelve with you and live happily every after." Finn's enthusiasm to let our future take its current course is what I should have expected.

I begin and stop speaking multiple times before I stare at him in silence. He smiles and must be thinking I've seen the light and while I'm not happy about it I've run out of excuses.

I sulk by the doorway while he mistakenly relaxes on the couch. As appealing as he'd like to think it sounds I am not going down without fighting. Or at least what I know I can beat him at…running.

Faster than he can question what I am doing I grab my shoes and head for the train station. My shoes are on before I reach edge of the Village and find a stride I know Finn will never keep up with.

It's the weekend and a large portion of Twelve is out and about. I soon realize I have to alter my path as well as slow my pace. It takes longer but slipping behind the businesses along the way to the station still saves time. No crowds or having to participate in the customary awkward conversations with the older residents of Twelve who love to relive every memorable moment of my family's history.

Minutes away from the station I prepare myself for a few quick smiles and waves while I track down the family member who holds my future in his hands. I won't stop. I'll keep barreling through the crowds like the woman on a mission that I am. I find an alley between the hotel and another store. The train station is just a few buildings down and in just a few short moments I'll have my hands on…

Barely two steps onto the sidewalk and I'm stuck in a gridlock of people. I can see the train station from where I am but people are blocking every possible opening I see to get any closer. All of sudden the crowd screams and I am pulled in closer with the mob to the middle of the street. Like quicksand any movement I make to distance myself only sucks me further in.

More people press against me all seeming to struggle to get closer to whatever is in the street. My first feeling is that this has something to do with the news my brother unleashed this morning. Why Twelve would care so much now about trying to gather a glimpse of Rowan and Janaya is beyond me. Their affection for each other has never been hidden. They're so open with it no one even bats an eye when they walk around.

As I take in the surrounding mass around me I begin to notice this is a particular demographic. Every person in my sights is female. My brother is going to love this later. Janaya…I'm sure she'll let my brother know in no uncertain terms that even though woman are screaming his name he still belongs to her.

At least if they were screaming his name she would. Admittedly I was paying more attention in staying upright and alive than listening to the name this swarm of females was shouting. But now I can hear it loud and clear.

One tall brunette beside me nearly takes off my arm as she cries, "I could die right now." How I would love to tell her I couldn't agree more but having anyone notice me in the middle of this is more of a priority.

I push even harder to back out of this pack of frenzied females. Before I know it I'm laying flat on my back with dozens of eyes starting at me. Then the gasps come and the recognition…and the inevitable coloring of my cheeks.

Seconds later the crowd parts to let the last person I want to see through. He bites his lip in an attempt to hide his amusement as he catches his first look at the fool lying the on the ground. He ushers everyone aside and crouches down low enough so only I can hear him. "Falling over yourself trying to see the stunning Finn Odair? I guess I can't blame you. He has quite the reputation in the bedroom."

With a tight smile I overlook his jabbing and take his hand to stand up. As long as he hasn't gotten to Rowan…and Rowan hasn't gotten to my parents…I still have a chance. "Whoa, I think you've sprained your ankle." He looks down at my feet as do I.

I don't feel any pain. "No, I hav-" He lifts me up in his arms bridal style and carries me through the growing mass of his fan club to the doors of the hotel. I spot the black car he came in and curse myself for not thinking of the same mode of transportation. Cars are rare in Twelve but two of our neighbors do own them. Wouldn't take much convincing for Finn to get them to lend one to him.

After pardoning himself through the crowd we enter the lobby of the hotel where I scramble out his arms. "Don't ever do that again!" I yell at him.

"What? Save you from a crowd of blood-thirsty women? I've seen it before, once one goes down... it becomes a free-for all and it's not a pretty sight."

Women do tend to multiply at the sight of him. He's become a common sight in Four and since we never go out together it hasn't been much of a issue. But here in Twelve it's like a god from the heavens above has decided to grace his presence on earth.

"What happened? Violet, are you ok?" I turn around to see my parents, Janaya's parents, sisters, Janaya and Rowan all staring at us. The new faces staring at me create a need for me to straighten my clothes. There is no hope for my hair or the continuous burning overtaking my face.

"I was coming to see Janaya's family…Haymitch told me that's where you went…but Finn here decided to show up first." He shrugs. "I offered to let you drive with me but you wanted to run." Despite his insult at least he's still letting me know he's on my side.

"Long story short, I couldn't get through the crowd of adoring fans and tripped."

"But I saved you didn't I? I promised your parents I would take care of you and I'm still holding up my end of the deal." He smiles his famous heart-stopping smile at me when I hear more sighs of awe I thought we had escaped from.

Janaya introduces Finn to her family. Her family moved to District Two a year ago while Janaya stayed behind for Rowan. She would never ask him to move from Twelve. Guess I'm a little more selfish than her.

Of course her mother and two younger sisters blush as Finn politely shakes their hands. He doesn't have to even say a word and every woman in this room is drooling over him. Ferne, the tall one, flirts with Finn first. "You are much more handsome in person, Mr. Odair."

"You can call me Finn. Most people do." He lips twitch while he steals a quick glance at me.

Willow who looks like she travels with her own personal prep team tries her luck next. "Finn…how do you stay in such great shape? I've heard you haven't been to sea in ages." She brushes her hand over his arm but he kindly backs up.

My muscles freeze as he wraps an arm around my waist. "Taking care of Violet here keeps me active. Basically just trying to keep up with her. Taking care of her every need. Even when it's saving her from being trampled." Janaya's family giggles at this without reading anything into it. Rowan knows exactly what Finn is implying and looks like he wants to burn a hole right through him.

Finn is still smiling at me and doesn't notice that there is one person who will never join his fan club. He turns his head and whispers in my ear, "I am getting a little tired of the chase though."

He's not going to guilt me out of my plan. So far my parents seem only annoyed with the crowd outside. They fill us in on what they've been doing while Finn was filling the streets. They had planned to get Janaya's family settled in the hotel and then have a family dinner at our house but no one seems at ease with the extra attention.

Once Janaya's sisters find out about Finn staying with my parents they immediately inquire about staying in the guest house. Imagine sleeping one house away from the world's most desirable bachelor.

All of our parents discuss how this won't work. Mainly because the Mellark children have left our parents ill-prepared for such visits. While they're busy complaining about us and Finn is trying to fend off the flirtatious advances of Janaya's sisters I take the opportunity to pull Rowan aside.

He steps away quickly with me to an empty hallway. No doubt ready with an attack of his own.

Once we are out of ear shot he opens the floor to me. "What?"

"You know what!"

"Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. Tell me what you think I know and I'll calm your worries for you." He is playing very dirty. I've kept a perfect record so far and he's not going to win this game.

"Rowan…I don't know what you think is going on but…and just trust me on this…it's my business, not yours. I know what I'm doing and I'd appreciate it if you'd let me deal with it."

His grey eyes narrow onto mine. "Violet, not that I don't trust you but I don't think you have any idea what you've gotten yourself into."

I nod my head once in agreement before I can stop myself. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder how this happened to me. How I could deserve Finn? What would be like if I told my parents? If I said yes to Finn? If we had kids? I never get past the thoughts before I run to a dark place to avoid it all.

And I am going to continue avoiding it today. "I'll clean the guest house if you promise to let me deal with it. Please." I plead with him a few more times before he reluctantly gives in to me. Making Janaya's family happy will make Janaya happy. And will get Rowan on my side, even if it's just for today.

I volunteer Finn to help me not only to keep the subject of my secret occupied far far away from my family but because I will need some serious help to get that house in order in just a few hours.

Once we make it to the car the two families inside the hotel wait for the crowd to disperse. Now that Finn Odair has left the building they should be free to move about the streets. Our family wants one day to themselves to enjoy the world's most anticipated engagement. Then tomorrow Rowan will make the official announcement...and I will be long gone from Twelve.


	7. Chapter 7

I volunteer Finn to help me not only to keep the subject of my secret occupied far far away from my family but because I will need some serious help to get that house in order in just a few hours.

Once we make it to the car the two families inside the hotel will wait for the crowd to disperse. Now that Finn Odair has left the building they should be free to move about the streets. Our family wants one day to themselves to enjoy the world's most anticipated engagement. Then tomorrow Rowan will make the official announcement...and I will be long gone from Twelve.

Security officers order the mass of people off the streets so Finn can easily navigate us back to the Village. One more reason my stomach clenches when I think of the world finding out about us. It's all so simple in his mind. Does he not think of the repercussions? We've basically hidden ourselves away in Four for the last few months. When...if we move to Twelve together I doubt I'll have the luxury of just having to endure some unwanted conversations...

It doesn't matter right now. Right now I just have to get through today. I just have to keep my brother happy until the sun sets and then we'll be back in Four.

My heartbeat finally slows to a normal pace once I see we're half-way back and no one is following us. I attempt a smile at him but he keeps his eyes focused on the road. Gently I place my hand on his leg. "It's better this way Finn. We'll have other chances to tell them." I don't know when but this sounds like what he wants to hear.

He mumbles something about being crazier than his mother. I take my hand back and ask him to repeat himself. "I said I must be crazier than my mother to keep going along with this. You realize I'm officially working against myself, right? At first I thought you were jealous and wanted to drag me away from those two but that's not you is it? We're cleaning the damn house to buy you more time from telling your parents. You'd run through a brick wall just to keep this a secret and make me clean up the mess afterwards…"

He continues his rant about how he's been letting me get away with this for far too long. This is what I was expecting this morning. So I just sit back and let him get it all out.

"Well?"

"Well what?" He said what he had to say. I don't remember there being a rule I had to respond.

Finn brings the car to a stop just as we reach the house of our generous neighbor and turns the engine off. "Before I get out of this car I want a promise Violet."

I close my eyes. I can't do it today. There is no way I can promise what he wants.

"More like a favor I guess. But you need to promise me you'll go along with it."

Reluctantly I open my eyes and look at him. His eyes are a deep green now. Whatever this favor is he is determined for me to honor it.

"What?" I manage to whisper through my cringing face.

"When we get back to Four…that's when you'll find out. Until then…I'll keep our little secret under lock and key."

He refuses to let me guess what the favor is the whole time we clean the kitchen. So I decide it's better to split the work up. At the rate we cleaned the kitchen we'll never finish before Janaya's family arrives expecting an immaculate house. Finn takes the downstairs and I take the upstairs.

Every once in a while I inspect his work biting my tongue at making another guess. With one bed left for me to make I let him know I'm almost done and am pleased to see he's nearly done with all the windows as well. He rolls his eyes at me. "I did manage to clean without you for a few years you know."

The mood between us has completely lightened. I giggle and kiss him before I go back upstairs.

Two beds down and one to go. I've made sure there is just enough for Janaya's sisters and parents. There is no way I am going to sleep in this house tonight with the Finn's newest admirers going on and on about him. Not because of jealousy, just sheer annoyance. I'll take the couch if I have to at my parents' house. I doubt my parents will kick Finn out of my room.

"This room looks like it needs christening." I ignore his deep voice coming from the hallway and straighten the sheets just like my mother taught me.

I gasp as he plops himself onto the perfectly made bed…shirtless and… "You're getting sweat all over the sheets, get off Finn."

Instead of doing as I ordered he positions himself on his side cradling his head with his hand. "Maybe I should have you fulfill the favor now?"

I sigh. Despite the cute act there is no way this house is not going to be done in time. "Just get off the bed. We still have half an hour and I need to check if we missed anything."

Tracing circles on the sheet he tries again. "You know there's a lot we could do in thirty minutes. Looking for a mess that isn't there is not in my top five ideas right now."

"You're getting sweat all over the sheets. I don't have time to wash them again!" I growl at him.

"Let Ferne and Willow know. Then they can fight over who gets to sleep in this bed." He juts out his full bottom lip but the gleam in his eyes informs me his pouting is all an act.

I can't help but smirk at the images going through my head. "That could be a show for Haymitch to promote." He chuckles and leisurely pulls himself off the bed so he is sitting on the edge right in front of me. In my head I know I commanded my feet to step back so as not to give in to the temptation before me. Instead I've ended up leaning against him, arms around his shoulders, his hands resting on my hips and his legs on either side of me.

"Can you please just let me finish?" I plead with him.

He brings me slightly forward and kisses me. "I'm tired of doing what you want…but I'll compromise." He looks at me with a devilish grin.

As if he hasn't compromised enough for me. But I'll hear him out. If he can find a way for us to get what we both want there's no harm in listening.

"What do you have in mind?" He grins even wider now that I'm no longer in refusal mode.

His lips find their way down my neck just stopping above the collar of my shirt. He gazes up at me with a fire in his eyes while he undoes each button slowly. Once he gets to the last one he lays a long kiss on my abdomen. I close my eyes as he kisses me harder and lower. I can never watch him. I've tried and giving up a few times. His eyes are always too intense for me.

My breathing is dangerously low as he undoes the single button on my pants. I wouldn't have guessed he would please me again after this morning. This is no compromise. He slides in his hand just enough to feel how wet I am. He kisses me again all the way up my stomach...the middle of my chest...my neck...until he's standing up. I risk opening my eyes and feel the want inside of me grow drastically when I see the lust in his eyes.

"Think the wall can withstand the force of Finn Odair?" My knees nearly buckle thinking back to the last time we did this against a wall.

"I'm pretty sure it's just me that has to withstand the force of you." His nostrils flare with my obvious acceptance of his plan and in two strides he has me pinned against the wall. A pleased moan rumbles from his throat. His lips catch mine and he pushes himself harder against me. I struggle slightly to catch up to his intense kisses. He grins when I start to take control of the dance between our tongues. I know I want him quickly now. More to feel him inside of me than that other reason that currently escapes me.

I curl my hands in his hair as he ravishes spot under my ear with his soft lips. I want to tell him to hurry but I can't seem to manage to form any words. Even my eyes have the lost the ability to stay shut for long...rolling back while he overtakes every nerve in my body. His strong hands find their way to my buttocks and he squeezes causing me to whimper.

In the one second he takes to replenish his air I do what I can to speak through my panting. "Please Finnick. Hurry."

His mouth leans in so closely to mine I open it expecting his tongue. Instead I feel his hot breath. "Did I mention how much I love it when you call me that?"

"Did I mention how much I hate it when you call him that?"

I let out the tiniest pang of breath when I hear him. This time fear and mortification keep me from opening my eyes.

His voice echoes from the hallway. "Whenever you two are done whatever this is I want to talk to you."


	8. Chapter 8

His mouth leans in so closely to mine I open it expecting his tongue. Instead I feel his hot breath. "Did I mention how much I love it when you call me that?"

"Did I mention how much I hate it when you call him that?"

I let out the tiniest pang of breath when I hear him. This time fear and mortification keep me from opening my eyes.

His voice echoes from the hallway. "Whenever you two are done whatever this is I want to talk to you."

I tighten my hold on Finn and bury my face in the crook of his neck. If I could melt into the wall never to be seen again I would do in a heart beat.

"He said we could finish…"

My heart now beats of pure anger. If we had just stuck to my original plan…if he wasn't so persistent…if I wasn't so weak…if he didn't come in the first place…

I peel out of his arms and decide it's his turn to let him have it. "Shut up Finn! This isn't funny…it's horrible. This is not how it was supposed to happen. You think this is how I want everyone finding out? Do you have any idea how close I am to-"

"To losing it? You're already there sweetheart."

His snap insult takes the wind out of my sails and lungs. What on earth do I see in this man? This entire day is his fault. I could have come home to a warm reunion with my family…sure I may have still locked myself in the bathroom in response to my brother's announcement but I wouldn't have to play a covert agent trying to hide a secret that is decreasing in value as every second passes.

"Can we get this over with please? Janaya's family is on their way and I need some answers." We don't break our glare even as we walk to the hallway.

Rowan's leaning against the wall looking almost as upset as this morning. He's probably going to need some form of counseling after I've…no after Finn has traumatized him nearly twice today.

"Him, I want to talk to him." He nods his head in Finn's direction.

"I think I can answer your questions better than him," I say feeling just a tad defensive.

"We tried that. It was like squeezing water out of a rock. If I'm going to get the truth here somehow I don't think it'll be from you. No offense Vi."

Sure. None taken. I've just been kicked out of the one conversation I've been avoiding all day. Still, I leave Finn to explain everything even though it's the second least appealing way I want anyone to find out. I hide in the stairway as they don't even wait to make sure I'm out of ear shot.

"So where do you want me to start?"

"You can start by leaving her alone Finn. We, as in the whole world knows you're not a commitment kind of guy. When you drop her like all the others she is going to be crushed and I'm not going to stand-"

"Commitment?! She's the one who won't commit. I've proposed to her everyday for nearly two months. The closest I've gotten her to commit is having her promise to tell your parents."

"You've…asked her to marry you? Ok, I need you to go back a little. What the hell is really going on between you?"

"I love her Finn. And as far as she's told me she loves me too. We both felt it the day she stepped of the train. I thought it was crazy at first, her being so young. But I can't imagine my life without her Rowan. I would do anything for her. I love everything about her. The way she chews her food, sleeps, everything. Even they way she's fighting telling your mom and dad. Don't tell her that part. But-"

"She loves you? She's actually said that? Those exact words have come out of her mouth? Voluntarily?"

I can practically hear Finn grin. "You know how difficult it is to get her to do anything she doesn't want to do. It's become quite the challenge getting her this far."

"Well…I guess apologies are in order."

"You don't have to apologize. It's not like she was going to tell you like a normal person."

"No…I mean I'm sorry you had to fall in love with the one person who detests everything about love. I'm sure she's planned my death several times today if I wasn't going to agree to not tell. I can't believe she's…wow. When mom and dad do find out…wow."

Rowan and Finn are now in cahoots against me. Rowan makes certain I leave the house first as Janaya's family arrives. _Don't want anyone walking in on you two for a third time today? Must be love if Vi can't control herself every minute she's alone with you.._

So comical they are. Well it's not going to be funny when Finn sleeps alone when we get back to Four is it? And he can forget about that favor. He most certainly did not keep up his end of the bargain and I have the wrinkled sheet to prove it. Or Willow does, little does she know. Maybe I'll even let that little tidbit slip at dinner tonight. Then their claws will come out.

"Violet, I could use some help with dinner." I'm snapped out of my pity party at my mother's request.

"Be right there." I look out the window and see no sight of Finn leaving the guest house. Dad is at the bakery making dessert but will be home soon to help and Haymitch is sleeping away the day until his next meal. Rowan is still playing with Janaya for her family but Finn has no reason to be there. This shouldn't bother me. The farther away from me the better. But I don't think I'll completely calm while he and his new best friend bond over how heartless I am.

I do the mindless job of cutting vegetables while mom prepares two ducks and potatoes for roasting. The kitchen hasn't been renovated since I was born but their double ovens are still more advanced than anything my parents had when they were young. It won't take more than an hour to cook dinner.

I take my time and slowly chop the collection of vegetables my mother grew from her own garden. A short half an hour later I've finished my workload and Finn still hasn't graced us with his presence. Chopping kept me focused on something other than what else is Finn discussing. Is he confessing anything to Rowan that he hasn't told me? That he wants children but he won't even dare to bring that subject up yet? I have more issues than having a commitment phobia?

"Are you ok sweet pea?"

"Fine, just thinking about leaving tomorrow. So much work to go back to, you know." I almost forgot my mother was in the kitchen with me I was so focused on not thinking about exactly what I was just thinking about.

"It won't be long before you're back for good next time. I can't believe your father let you go for this long."

I roll my eyes. "Ok, I may have my moments where I wanted to pick you up and bring you home myself." That's more like it. "But it made it easier for me knowing Finn was there for you. You two seem to have grown quite close?"

She says that like it's a question and she's waiting for an answer. I've told her on the phone he's been a good friend and been a great help to me. I wasn't going to add anything that may imply anything more. "He's been great. A little over protective though. He didn't trust me to travel to Twelve alone."

She smiles. "It's what we do with the ones we love Violet. Protect each other." I pause for a second. That was too innocent of a comment to be true. Once she starts bringing up Annie I relax. She just thinks of Finn and his mother like family. And they are. They've picked each other up every time one of them has fallen. Whenever Finn was sick and Annie believed he was going to die my parents jumped on the first train there and would stay for days even after he was better. Annie counseled my mother through both of her pregnancies. They talk less these days but the love and respect they have for each other is still there.

"Aw, honey, you made dinner." My shoulders tense up and I feel the blood race to my cheeks as Finn wraps one arm around me. My mother laughs and turns around to inspect the ovens.

I attempt to shrug off his arm to no avail. He deadens his weight on me and says, "Have I told you how much your daughter means to me Katniss?" My mind is racing. This is not part of the plan. I'm not ready. But Finn has made it impossible for me to run now.


	9. Chapter 9

"Aw, honey, you made dinner." My shoulders tense up and I feel the blood race to my cheeks as Finn wraps one arm around me. My mother laughs and turns around to inspect the ovens.

I attempt to shrug off his arm to no avail. He deadens his weight on me and says, "Have I told you how much your daughter means to me Katniss?" My mind is racing. This is not part of the plan. I'm not ready. But Finn has made it impossible for me to run now.

I barely notice the flash of light coming from the entrance way to the kitchen. I am rather preoccupied on how I can possibly survive Finn's badly timed statement and what his next move will be. Did he honestly think I would go along with telling her like this? Rowan must have persuaded him to forgo considering my feelings and just get it over with. The next second I see that little-

Another flash of light jerks my mother's attention away from us and dinner. "Rowan, put the camera away. Dinner is not a moment we're going to be desperate to relive in ten years."

"Mom, I'm engaged. I want to remember everything about this day. And I have a quota to fill for Janaya. Smile sis." I can see the picture now. My mother's famous scowl that I inherited and Finn's winning smile he inherited from his father are forever implanted side-by-side on film.

Finn's proclamation is seemingly forgotten as she turns back to tend to dinner. "What a grand idea." I hear my mother sarcastically mutter in the background and I couldn't agree more.

I planned to stay as far away from Finn for the rest of dinner to prevent anymore impromptu pictures. As far as I'm concerned one is too many. The plans changed when my parents insisted I sit beside Finn in order to protect him from the advances of Janaya's sisters. After his little stunt I'd rather feed him naked to those she-wolves.

I cornered him afterwards and demanded what the meaning of that was. _I wasn't going to dive into the whole story. But don't you think we should start showing an interest in each other so this doesn't seem like a shock when we do tell them?_ I knew it was Rowan's idea the second he said it. So I confronted him next. _Hey, I'm on your side now. I'm rooting for you two but you can't just lay something this profound on mom without letting her have an inkling it was bound to happen. _I only had a few minutes to protest. Despite my efforts Finn plans to go through with it all night and Rowan's going to be there to immortalize every excruciating moment.

The table before us is a splendid display of the Mellark's finest dining set. This is an occasion to celebrate and my parents have set up the perfect celebratory feast.

My parents sit on either end of our immaculate dining table. I am sandwiched in between Finn and Janaya's parents. Rowan has the best view to capture my misery from across the table sitting next to Janaya and her sisters. Haymitch…well I may have had him crossed off the guest list for this meal. Having to bear the well-intentioned anguish from Finn and Rowan tonight will bring me close enough to the edge without Haymitch jumping on their bandwagon.

We toast to the lucky couple and the Torturing Violet in the Name of Love Game begins.

At first the conversation runs around cute anecdotes of Rowan and Janaya's relationship. His annoying habits, how her parents adored him from the first time Janaya brought him home, how he proposed, etc. Drooling over every detail wasn't high on my priority list. Downing my dinner as quickly as possible without choking and keeping track of every word out of Finn's mouth kept me otherwise occupied. He can say nice things about me. That I'll allow. But if he alludes to anything that could even resemble the fact that he and I are lovers I'll have to be prepared with my own rebuttal.

"Tea?" He practically whispers it so I doubt anyone else heard. "You're looking a little tense. It's not going to be as awful as you think." I eye him suspiciously. Is it going to be worse? "It's chamomile. You always say it helps you at home."

"Fine." I drink it every time he brings up certain subjects. Sometimes I can predict how our evening is going to go when I smell it brewing in the kitchen.

He pours it for me and gives me a crooked smile as I take it. Flash. "Just had to get one more picture of Finn for the engagement book." I'm sure he did. Seems to me that's the only picture he took of his engagement dinner since we toasted to them.

"Oooh, I'd like a picture with Finn." Willow pipes up.

"That's wonderful idea. Would you like to switch-"

"There will be time for pictures after dinner. Rowan, where are your manners? We're at dinner, not a news conference." This is as firm as my father gets but it's enough to get Rowan to put down the camera. Advantage Violet. Now I won't have to put up with picture after picture of a scraggly haired me attempting not to scowl with a gorgeously tanned Finn working overtime on his heart-melting smile aimed at me.

Rowan takes a sip from his wine glass and nonchalantly clears his throat. "So, Finn, I see you're still alive. You and Violet seem to be getting along well enough that she hasn't tried to poison you."

How dare he bring that up? I was seven and he was a brat and it was more of an experiment than anything. And he's still breathing I might add though now that I think of it I could turn the tables on them. No, calm down Violet. This is just a part of their plan. However deluded it is. Who starts a compliment with applauding how I haven't killed someone yet?

"Quite well. As far as I know I haven't been poisoned. I've been working hard to be on my best behavior." Except for tonight. I don't have to poison Finn per say when we get back but it wouldn't be a horrible idea to really show him how much I know about herbs. No, stop it. Drink your tea and stop thinking deadly thoughts.

"We actually eat most meals together. Take turns cooking, that sort of thing. Violet's sort of helped me see the perks of living a grown up life." In what seems to be an attempt to reassure me he brushes his hand against mine...which are clasped in a death grip under the table. This is how I plan to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the evening. I may have no feeling in my hands by the end but it will be worth it if all my parents grasp is that Finn and I are good friends now.

"Weren't you saying earlier you were thinking of settling down? Janaya and I were both excited when you mentioned-"

"Well some habits are harder than others to break. It was really just a passing thought. Some of us are just meant to be bachelors." I unclench my jaw out of surprise which I didn't realize I was clenching. He's backtracking, fabricating his earlier conversation with Finn completely disregarding the irritation growing on my brother's face.

Now the discussion turns into _It's ok, Finn. There's someone for everyone._ And so on and so on. He soaks in the attention from every member of the table and plays the poor soul who has accepted the fact that no one will ever love him. No one even mentions my name again until dessert is passed out.

My father has made an exquisite cake with pink and white flowers lining the edges. _Congratulations Rowan and Janaya_ is iced in perfect handwriting in the center. It's chocolate, Janaya's favorite. Rather than accept a piece I tell the truth, I'm not felling well and excuse myself to make more tea.

Before I can even fill the kettle Finn has followed me into the kitchen. He's holding an empty plate. He must have eaten it in two bites. Desserts are rare for us in four. Neither of us can bake and we usually end up just wanting each other for dessert.

"Are you ok?" He says in a hushed voiced.

"Fine. Why? Is there some reason you think I shouldn't be?" My voice is more biting than I want but I can't hold back anymore.

"Violet…I didn't go through with it. I had them all eating out of my hands. They think I'm still the same old Finn with the same old girl problems. They suspect nothing."

I heard every word, every sympathetic gesture. My mother patting him on the back. My father telling him to visit more. The she-wolves salivating at the idea they could have a chance with him no matter how fleeting. And he thinks that's what I wanted. No, he knows that's what I wanted. So why can't I shake this feeling like I'm poisoning my own relationship with Finn? He's actually doing what I've asked of him all along. Lying to protect what we have.

I peek over his should at the doorway. "We're leaving in the morning, right? Then it will be just you and me?"

He takes a step closer and lowers his voice. "When will you ever learn Mellark? There is no escaping me."

Against my better judgment I jump into his surprised arms. He nearly drops the plate but manages to keep his grip on it and wrap his arms around me just as tightly as I have mine wrapped around him. "I can't promise we won't have two unexpected guests though. I mean what can I say? Women love me."

I choke back a laugh. He picked up on it again. I'm over thinking everything. I need him to bring me back down to a sane level every time. I can't imagine I'll ever stop needing him. His calming demeanor, his sweet scent of the ocean, his unwavering patience, his warmth and love he saves only for me.

"Just remember I love you more."


	10. Chapter 10

I choke back a laugh. He picked up on it again. I'm over thinking everything. I need him to bring me back down to a sane level every time. I can't imagine I'll ever stop needing him. His calming demeanor, his sweet scent of the ocean, unwavering patience, his warmth and love he saves only for me.

"Just remember I love you more."

Finn continues the façade throughout the rest of the evening. Willow and Fern get their pictures with Finn. I'm positive they will sleep with them every night.

The families allow me to slink into the background for the remainder of the evening. Rowan lets it slip that my parents are under the impression this is all too much for me and I'm on the verge of a break down. Whatever gave them that idea? Now everyone is tip-toeing around me. Can't say I mind though. At least I don't have to be on guard. I can let Finn do what Finn does best and count the seconds until we can leave in the morning.

As I expected Finn will still be in my room tonight. Wouldn't want to make him anything less than comfortable as our honored guest. He suggested Haymitch's place but his home is barely hospitable for its owner. I was at least granted the couch in the living area. From my mother's point of view it's so I don't have to put up with the unavoidable wedding excitement that Janaya and her sisters are sure to engage in.

Lying in my makeshift bed I pull my mind away from the chaos of today's events. I would never get any sleep if I wasn't able to completely shut myself away from everything that bothered me on a day to day basis. Unfortunately my dreams get the better of me tonight. Images of weddings – mine, Janaya's, complete strangers- keep me from fully avoiding what lays deep in my subconscious. In mine I'm dressed in a seaweed dress and Finn has nothing on. In Janaya's, Finn stops the wedding to propose to me in front of a mass of television reporters. I keep trying to escape from the strangers' wedding, knowing I don't belong there but there is no escape. No matter where I turn I keep ending up at the altar beside the faceless bride and groom.

I groan inwardly at myself. There's only one way I'll sleep tonight. If I can't avoid him in my dreams I may as well just resign myself to cozying up to him.

With more grace than Finn could ever muster I sneak up the stairs and am in my room without producing a single creak in the floorboards. I never knew it was easier to sneak into my room rather than out of it. I lock the door behind me preparing not to make any mistakes tonight. I just need his warm body to sleep beside, nothing else. If anyone comes looking for me I'll say I was just getting a blanket, book, the first thing I can find. With any luck it'll be morning before they notice.

My eyes fall onto my bed where the moonlight gives me a clear view of a half-dressed Finn dead to the world. He has one leg under the blanket and one over with his arms spread across the sides of the bed. His sleep looks about as peaceful as mine was.

I gently pull the blanket from under his leg and carefully climb on top of him. There's not enough room to sleep beside him in my bed so I'll have to do with being on top. He won't mind. We usually arrange ourselves as closely as possible.

Wrapping the blanket around both of us I settle in on his bare chest feeling the comfort of his heartbeat. I breathe a sigh of relief. We fit so perfectly together. And I'll finally get some much needed sleep tonight.

The blanket shifts slightly and two familiar hands slowly start to lightly trace the backs of my thighs. A finger on each hand presses into me. A low sound comes from the throat just above my head. Then his whole hands are squeezing my thighs. They continue to massage upwards finding their way under my shorts. Finishing their journey on my backside they squeeze me harder one more time causing me to gasp.

"Hello there," he purrs.

My eyelids are heavy so I just rub my cheek along his chest. "I just came to say goodnight. So goodnight Finn."

"I thought I had better odds of finding Willow or Fern in my bed tonight than you."

"I've locked the door but I wouldn't put it past them to sneak through the window."

He squeezes me again and presses into me at the same time. "Does this mean what I think it means? You're not angry with me anymore?"

Fighting all impulses to counter back to his hands I state the obvious. "I was never angry with you. But I will be if I don't get some sleep."

The warmth is taken away from under my shorts and finds a new home on my back. "This is a big step Violet but it's going to be so worth it. My mom…she's going to be ecstatic." I can hear the excitement in his voice.

"You've been away longer than this Finn."

"You know what I mean. I mean when she finds out…I've always wanted to see her just be happy for me and I think this might do it."

My eyes flutter open. If I heard him correctly he wants her to…

"Find out? Why would she? We didn't talk about this."

He kisses me on the head. "Yes we did. Ok, I did. But you're here. You're not giving me the cold shoulder anymore. It won't hurt being honest with her. Heck, Haymitch knows so I think it's only right-"

"Did you have this little conversation in your head? Where was I exactly when I agreed to this?" I hush my voice as much as possible. Listening to him go on and on has me on the edge now.

"In the kitchen…you were eating a bun…I came to check on you and decided it was better not to spring my idea on you when we get back to Four. Ring any bells?" He laughs at the last part but this is no laughing matter.

"And then you said…"

"Well I want my favor to be telling my mother. I know it's too much right now to tell your parents but this will make my mother's day…maybe her life. All she's wanted is for me to find happiness and I have…with you." He hugs me tighter. I can't help but feel suffocated by his words though.

I push against him and out of his arms. "Tell me again…what else did you say?"

"What's the matter? Were you eating in your sleep? I've heard of stress getting to people but you looked fully awake to me."

"Did I say anything? Look at you? Anything Finn?"

He rolls his eyes at me. "Does that sound like you? I knew you would give me the classic Violet response and ignore me so when I left you I didn't expect to find you in the same bed as me tonight. I think our relationship is actually maturing." He leans in to kiss me but I hold him back with one hand.

My heart is beating faster than should be medically possible. "What was I wearing?"

"Wearing? I don't know…it was dark."

"A long white t-shirt…and my hair was in braid wasn't it? Wasn't it Finn?" I ask him but I know the answer.

"Ya, I guess…" His eyes scrutinize my present appearance. A grey tank top with my hair down. "When did you change?"

My eyes dart to the door. I silence Finn from even breathing by covering his mouth and I listen. Why hasn't she confronted me? Why didn't she reveal herself to Finn? Why is she letting this torture continue?

Finn gently takes my hand off his mouth. "Violet, I'm going to say something here and I want to know I love you more than life itself, ok?"

Turning back to him I know he must have figured it out. His deep green eyes are full of concern for me. He knows this is what I've fought so hard against and he's going to make it ok.

"Are you pregnant?"

As if my heart could take any shock. Before I can shout my answer to him he interrupts me. "Think about it. Your emotions have been all over the place today. Locking yourself in the bathroom, running around like a crazy person, and don't think I haven't noticed how you've been mentally stabbing me all day. Pregnant women are known for their unpredictability…don't you think it could maybe just maybe be a possibility?"

This is a stupid conversation when there is a real emergency going on. I collect my thoughts and let them come out in one cool calm sentence… through gritted teeth. "I. Am. Not. Pregnant."

"Then what is going on? I'm starting to get seriously concerned about your mental well-being."

He's lucky he doesn't have to live in my head 24/7. Since the day I started having feelings for him I haven't been the same. Being irrational is like second nature to me now. That's the Violet he knows and loves. This whole day has just piled all of my fears on top of one another. He's taken care of each one of them though, even if he kind of caused them in the first place. That's what he does best. Takes care of all my worries. So I know what I need to do now. I need to let him fix it and get out of Twelve as soon as possible.

"You really want to know?"

"Of course I do." He cups my face in his loving hands. "Tell me. Whatever it is know I'm not going anywhere."

I wrap one hand around his and speak through the tightness beginning to form my throat. He doesn't hear me the first time so I'm forced to say it a second time.

"That wasn't me. It was my mother. She knows."


	11. Chapter 11

I wrap one hand around his and speak through the tightness beginning to form in my throat. He doesn't hear me the first time so I'm forced to say it a second time.

"That wasn't me. It was my mother. She…knows."

Silence fills the room. Neither of us breathes for what feels like a century. His hands are still glued to me but his eyes are off in the distance, most likely replaying his one-sided conversation with my mother. Finally he raises his eyebrows in acknowledgment. He slowly slips his hands away from my cheeks onto my hips. He eyes me cautiously before he speaks.

"She knows…"

"Yes." I whisper.

A small smile appears on his lips. "So it's over?"

Over? It's just beginning. The beginning of the end of the private relationship we had.

I shake my head but my tongue can't form single word.

He looks at me earnestly tightening his grip on both sides of my hips. "It is, Violet. She's probably told your father. There's no one left to tell except my mother. We can finally-"

I cut him off. "No, you're wrong…" The rest comes out in a jumble but the essence of my worries comes across loud and clear. Telling my mother is the catalyst in the rest of the world knowing. Now that she knows it's become real. Real enough even I can't make believe to the rest of Panem I'm not desperately in love with Finn Odair. He's going to follow me everywhere I go from now on. Only it's not just him following me. The cameras will be haunting our every movement, every glance. The reporters will be generating story after story based on what little truths they have film of. I'm not ready for it…any of it.

"It's ok, it will all be ok. I'll be with you every step of the way. Once they see how boring it is to-"

"You don't get it Finn! Our lives are going to be turned into a show. They can make a story out of everything…I leave early for work one day and we're breaking up. You look down at a baby and I'm denying you a child. It's going to be a circus of lies."

"So we won't watch television. We won't read the paper. We can live out the rest of our lives in ignorant bliss." He smiles sweetly at me and leans in to kiss me. Nothing I say seems to bother him. He thinks he can resolve this with some reassuring words and a kiss but he it's not enough to convince me. I stand up letting the blanket fall to the floor before he can get any closer.

"Don't you get it? We're never going to have a moment of privacy again. We're never going to-"

He hushes me by standing up also and grabbing me hard by the shoulders. "This insanity has to stop Violet. This day…however horribly depicted in your head was a good day. Maybe things didn't go according to plan but I for one am happy the truth is finally out there and you can't take it away."

He's definitely the insane one. But he's also sparked one last idea for reprieve. I could take away what happened. Or rather he could. We could say he was drunk…sleep walking…yes…he does it all the time in Four…it's a recurring thing he's been seeing doctors for. The wheels are churning in my head and it seems more perfect the more I think about it.

As my body relaxes in his grip he rightly so questions what's going on inside my head.

"We could...just because you said it doesn't mean it's true. You could tell her you were sleeping walking. You've been suffering from it for months. You've been pretending all day, what's one more story?"

"You're not serious?"

I'm nearly jumping up and down I'm so sure it will work. "You're not responsible for the things that come out of your mouth when you're sleeping. All the talk about Rowan's wedding, me visiting you…it just got all muddled in a dream. Did you say my name? You could have even been dreaming about Fern or Willow!"

He drops his hands from my shoulders as if I've beaten him in a crushing defeat. "Unbelievable. You are…something else Violet Mellark. This is the perfect situation for you. The truth has fallen into your mother's lap and you didn't have to say one word. And yet…it's not enough for you to accept. Accept? What am I saying? Finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with isn't something you should have to accept!" Finn's usual calm serene face is now showing signs of actual discomfort. "I'm not going to let you lie to them anymore. Either you face the truth or…." He doesn't finish the sentence but I have some idea what he wanted to say.

I back up hearing his ultimatum. He wouldn't. He doesn't mean it. He's burned into my subconscious that he will never leave me. That's my empty threat. He's just trying to get me to change my mind, to back down…like I always manage to get him to do.

"Finn…I just can't…"

"Just can't what Violet?" He challenges me to finish but I can see a faint shine in his eyes. "Can't love me no matter what? Can't find it in you to be true to what's meant to happen? Can't live happily ever after?"

I hate it when he's this honest with me. My body is shaking with guilt but I can't change what's at my core. And it's not like it's my fault. I'm just trying to find some solace in my life without having to give up everything I hold dear to the public's judging eye.

He purses his lips and takes half a step closer to me. "I need to know Violet. Right now. Can you do this for me? Can you love me? For better or worse…no matter what anyone else thinks or says?"

I want to give him the answer he wants…the answer he deserves. But I'm trapped by my fears. I don't know if I'll ever be brave enough to admit I want what he wants. So when I don't answer I know it's my fault. When I fall asleep curled up in ball in my bed alone I know it's from my own doing. When I wake up in a pool of dampness on my pillow I know I've lost the game that I had no right to play with Finn's heart.


	12. Chapter 12

He purses his lips and takes half a step closer to me. "I need to know Violet. Right now. Can you do this for me? Can you love me? For better or worse…no matter what anyone says or thinks?"

I want to give him the answer he wants…the answer he deserves. But I'm trapped by my fears. I don't know if I'll ever be brave enough to admit I want what he wants. So when I don't answer I know it's my fault. When I fall asleep curled up in ball in my bed alone I know it's from my own doing. When I wake up in a pool of dampness on my pillow I know I've lost the game that I had no right to play with Finn's heart.

Twelve days ago I had given in to Finn. Prepared to let my family in on my most well-kept secret. What I thought was my most well-kept secret. Just a day later I had driven away the central figure of that secret. I heard the whispers from my family outside my door that morning. They gathered like a dark cloud saying his name over and over. His name was the only word I couldn't block out. It didn't take long for each one to try and coax the events out of me that left me curled up in a ball, still naively trying to protect myself from the pain of admitting what I had done, what I had lost. I guess I thought the thing that would make it real was saying it out loud. I didn't even know then which truth was the worst to admit to. That I had loved Finn Odair with all my heart or that I had lost him thanks to my own inability to truly express without fear that love.

And now…now I have to face it. The lying. The denying. The fear. The loss. It was all for nothing. I had hidden nothing from my parents. No, it wasn't that fateful night they found out. My mother was the one who finally exposed reality to me. Everyone else was tip-toeing around the truth. She did what a good mother does. Ripped the bandage off and let me cry out in shock. But it was finally over with.

_She spoke with as much certainty as she ever had. "Violet Mellark, this has gone far enough. Peeta, don't you say another word so help me. We are not going to encourage this behavior any longer. Rewarding her with cinnamon pancakes is not going to make this situation any better. Why on earth you think you had to hide your relationship with Finn…well I hate to break to you but I knew. You stepped off that train and looked right into his eyes and I knew. I see those same blue eyes look at me like that everyday. I'm sorry I didn't call you on it sooner but you can blame your father for that. Well, I'm tired of protecting you from yourself Violet. So do I have to say the words for you or are you finally going to be honest? Now's the time because I don't know how many chances you're going to get with Finn."_

I didn't say it of course. But she did. And she called Annie and repeated the words. I begged her not to. It took me some time but I let my true fears out. Loving Finn was the easy part. Living a life with Finn was not something I could even imagine. At least not a happy one. He was Finn Odair. I was her daughter. That combination alone was enough to let all of Panem think they were invited to pry into every detail of my life. I reminded her of the scene outside the hotel and told her to imagine that day repeated for the rest of my life.

In the back of my mind those thoughts are still there. I hardly doubt they will ever fully go away. But now that they are semi-tucked away I can at least look him straight in the eye.

Ok, maybe he can't see me looking at him but I'm counting it as a step in the right direction.

It's been eleven days since he left. With my family's encouragement it only took three to call him. I left my last message two days ago. I expect he took that as a sign that I've given up considering he didn't reply to any one of my messages I left on his phone or with Annie. So that's why I had to take more 'drastic measures' as my mother put it. Love is not something you should take lightly I've learned. That's why I'm patiently waiting for Finn to finish his interview with Plutarch Heavensbee. Every year he interviews Victors, survivors of the rebellion and their family members. Every year Finn agrees to go on to show his appreciation for the fighters of the rebellion, to remember his father and mother for their efforts. Panem gets a small glimpse into his life as well. He's by far the one guest everyone tunes in to see. It would seem I'm no different this year.

He's dressed more formal than in past years. He tends to let his prep team take creative control and do as they please. Not this year. His dark grey suit is quite form fitting and the exclusion of a tie seems to be a good choice judging by the reaction of the female audience members. Plutarch has saved his interview for last, to increase his viewership of course.

Finn patiently waits out screams and cheers from the live audience while I do the same on the couch sandwiched in-between my brother and Haymitch. "He doesn't look that good," Rowan says. "I've looked better than that on my worst drinking nights," Haymitch says in his hoarse voice.

I smile lightly at their remarks but keep staring at the television. He looks amazing. A little unpolished but still amazing. Any moment the crowd will calm down and the questions will start and I have no plan of missing a single word of it.

A few minutes later Plutarch hushes the crowd with his hands as Finn twists his hand through his hair. Cool and composed are his usual traits in every interview but he already seems to be off to a rocky start. I just pray he can last through this interview without disclosing anything that would lead to making our relationship public or at least the relationship we had. I know he's promised not to say a word. And I could never doubt him. But we all get driven to our end point…

His eyes sparkle when he looks at Plutarch as he asks his first question and I relax…a little. "Can't tell me you don't enjoy getting this kind of greeting every once in a while?"

"Once a year is enough to fill my ego," he says.

Plutarch laughs and slaps Finn on the knee. "So tell us what's been happening in the life of Finn Odair? Seems you've been living a quiet life this year. You've put in your time at sea and then we've barely seen you out at more than a visit to the market."

Playing coy Finn answers him, "Age finds every man Plutarch. Alas I am no different."

"Come now, my boy. This isn't the Finn we know. I believe the words the world's greatest romancer have been thrown around on this stage more than a few times. I can't believe your time is up on courting the women of Panem… unless?"

What is he getting at? Plutarch hasn't even asked him a proper question and he's already implying-

"Unless what? You're not asking me what I think you're asking me are you? Plutarch, you've asked some over the top questions on this show but that…that…" Finn doesn't finish his sentence but does shift just enough back in his chair to show his agitation. Something Finn Odair never does. And something that will not go unnoticed by Plutarch.

Plutarch chuckles and asks a few simple impersonal questions he knows will go no where. How his mother Annie is. If anything news worthy happened at sea. He never asks one question about how Finn had to babysit me. Plutarch keeps the Mellark name out of all questions out of respect for our family, unless my parents have given their expressed permission. I've accepted it's only a matter of time before someone will say something. I'm hoping the odds are it won't be Finn.

Plutarch has slowly warmed Finn up and we all know the harder questions are coming. Every year Finn is pressed to answer more personal questions about the women he has been with. He's kept his answers mysterious which he told me was easy because he never felt that close to any of them. No one ever meant as much to him as I did.

Plutarch pries into Finn's love life again gently. "You never really answered my question you know."

Finn shrugs his shoulders. "You never really asked me a question."

"Very good point my boy. Let me start again. You don't seem quite your relaxed easy going self this time around. Could it be because you have something…or someone on your mind?"

Silence fills the room in the studio where they sit and the room I sit with my couch mates.

Finn glances at the audience. Perhaps half expecting me to be there waving my hands in front of me to persuade him not to utter one word about us.

His jaw clenches as he looks back at Plutarch. He's breaking. He's considering it. I can't even believe my eyes. "He doesn't have the nerve," Haymitch mutters trying to reassure me.. I guess putting up with my tears and hearing me untangle all the lies I thought I had hidden from my mother and knowing Finn has seemingly shut me out even though I admitted I made a mistake has actually had an effect on him. That's why he decided to be here with me. For support.

"There might be a someone, was a someone, once upon a time."

Plutarch perks up with interest as does every ear in Panem. "Oh?"

Finn lets out a sigh and then smiles. The boyish smile that melts every heart in Panem. "Do you want the truth? Would you even believe me if I told you there was a real person in this world that holds my every thought with her?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

Finn rolls his eyes. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I've rarely slept with the same woman twice?"

"Probably forgot the first time." Without taking my eyes off the screen I elbow Rowan so hard he groans in pain.

"I don't know the first thing about love. Isn't that the running joke? Finnick Odair, the second. Bachelor to the end of the time. That isn't a title I'm proud of. That's a synonym for man who lacks the ability to love you know." He stares right at Plutarch as if he's challenging him to deny what he's just said.

"No one thinks that Finn. Made of the same fiber as your fath-".

"Then why isn't she here? Why won't she… never mind… I won't bore you with the questions I've become obsessed with asking myself."

Looking like a concerned grandfather Plutarch continues his interview. "Do you mean to tell me that this woman isn't returning your affections? How could any woman resist you?"

Finn laughs sharply. "It's what I deserve. Falling for the one woman who…"

Plutarch lowers his head prompting Finn to keep going.

"It doesn't matter Plutarch. What's done is done. I have to accept it and move on."

"No, surely a woman who can garner this much passion from you is worth fighting for?"

Finn shakes his head. "It wasn't a fight I was ever going to win. If I could change myself, my name I would have-"

"You mean to tell me because of who you are she didn't want you?"

"The loss of privacy is what she didn't want. Her fam… she's gone through a lot and she doesn't need me to add to what she's already had to give up in life. I think…it was just too much too soon. I know I was too much. I could see my future with her and I wanted it all right then and there that first night. If I could go back right now and love her differently I would. But I can't. I made my mistakes and now I have to live with them and let her get on with her life."

The camera pans to the crowd. Men and women are united in sadness for him. I close my eyes feeling the pain of the last night come back to me.

"Tell us about her, my boy. Sometimes just talking about it makes it easier."

I open my eyes again to see Plutarch's hand on Finn's shoulder. I almost don't want to hear what he has to say next…almost.

He rubs his forehead as he starts to speak. "She was everything I never knew I wanted. She's perfect. I know everyone says that but she is. The intensity of just her looking at me... the first time I saw her, really saw her she nearly fell off-" He stops. That would be a dead giveaway if he mentioned the train incident. I was so busy staring at him I nearly broke my ankle as I took that last step off the train. That was the first time he had to come to my rescue.

He gives his head a shake. "She made me feel wanted… needed. Like I was the only one for her. Her hair was the softest hair I had ever felt. She kept it natural all the time. And when she said my name…it was like a song when she said it. Just for me. Sometimes when she was still asleep I would count the freckles…" Finn pauses and the world is on their toes waiting to hear more about his dream girl. "Plutarch?"

"Yes?"

"You know you made it worse don't you?" I couldn't agree more.

Rowan nudges and tells me it's time. I'd rather let my body sink into the crevices of the couch but that's not what I came here for. I stand, straighten my dress more out of nerves and to waste a little time than for looks. Rowan leads me out of the room but not before I catch Plutarch's next words. "It's only going to get better from here. I have someone who wants to join us. A secret admirer I'm told."

Rowan tries to guide me closer to the stage but I keep wobbling on the heels I begrudgingly agreed to. "Wait," I tell him. I unstrap the heels from my ankles and toss them off to the side. Rowan shakes his head at me and smirks. "You're not making it easier for you to run are you?"

I playfully shove my way past him until I'm close enough to the side entrance to make out what Finn is saying. "...if they come out here they won't be a secret any more will they?"

Plutarch mimics my thoughts exactly. "I think that's the point."


	13. Chapter 13

I playfully shove my way past him until I'm close enough to the side entrance to make out what Finn is saying. "...if they come out here they won't be a secret any more will they?"

Plutarch mimics my thoughts exactly. "I think that's the point."

Finn attempts to argue further against the idea of being setup with a perfect stranger in this fashion. He stops when he sees Plutarch glance up at me and nod for me to begin my entrance. His mouth falls as soon as his eyes meet mine. And I try to walk on. Only my legs are numb and my heart is beating so fast I'm afraid if I take one step it will explode as if I'm about to step off of a mine.

No one knows it's me. Only him. I could back out. Plutarch could cover and tell everyone he followed his better judgment and decided to not reveal the surprise guest. Only the hand on my back and voice in my ear is fulfilling his role in this plan. Rowan's stronger and faster than me. And he's prepared for any spontaneous anxiety attack that may cause me to attempt to run. And he promised me and my parents he won't let me down. I will go on stage even if he has to pick me up and throw me on himself.

"I just need a minute," I tell him.

"You've had more time than you deserve. Do you want me to get Haymitch? He knows the whole story. Who do you think Panem would prefer to hear it from?"

Damn. Damn it all. I can do this. I will do this. "Fine." I inch one bare foot closer and Plutarch stands up to greet me. Then I'm stumbling on to the stage as Rowan has kindly given me the push I needed.

The crowd gasps as I catch myself. "Now that's an entrance," I hear Rowan say.

In my head I am glaring back at him. In reality I'm frozen on stage, in front of who knows how many people and cameras. Like a foreign being masquerading in Violet Mellark's body. I know I don't look like myself. I went through hours of torture to ensure that. Strapless, light blue dress that sparkles like the waves in the sunlight. Hair up, shinier than I knew possible, all visible scars and blemishes hidden under a coat of make-up. After the finishes touches were added to make my beauty as 'natural' as possible Haymitch reassured me I was going to be irresistible to Finn.

"This is getting embarrassing, just go get him!" Rowan hisses at me reminding me why I'm actually here.

The embarrassing part is I was counting on the irresistible look to work on Finn. To have him sweep me into his arms and the rest would be history. My appearance and entrance appear to have had little effect on him as he's now turned away from me.

Plutarch welcomes me to sit and the audience, though still in awe, applauds my unanticipated appearance. Even without those treacherous heels my legs feel dangerous to walk on. Wobbling as carefully as I can I make my way to the extra chair next to Finn.

The air is tense between us. I was not prepared for this cold of a reaction. I take a single glance to the other side of the stage where Haymitch has taken his position to block the only other escape route. He nods at me. I nod back. I can do this. This is my opportunity to fulfill Finn's last request. I've come this far - or was at least shoved this far. I am not turning back now.

"I think we can do better than that! Let's give Violet Mellark a most sincere welcome, for her first interview in the Capitol!" Plutarch's voice is booming and gives the people in front of me the encouragement they needed not to hold back their cheers and shouts of joy in getting their first real-life glimpse at me.

Now that his voice will be drowned out by the noise Finn whispers that last words I wanted to hear. "I am not doing this Violet. Is this what you thought I wanted? You have no idea what you're doing…this just needs to be over."

He turns away before I can look him in the eye. Plutarch notices the reaction on my face that Finn has garnered from his private whisperings and again calms the sounds around us. It took all of two seconds to convince Plutarch to let me crash the show. Odds are he'll never have ratings like this again. Of course no matter which way this goes I'm sure my attempt at declaring my love for Finn will be replayed over and over. All that's left is for me to actually say it…

Politely I swallow my growing disappointment and thank Plutarch for having me on his show. He corrects me and thanks me for finally accepting his invitation.

"I thought it was time… it just seemed like the right time to… well I have a reason to come here this time." My voice is shaky but I managed to complete a sentence.

"And it has something to do with this young man sitting beside us, doesn't it?"

I smile at Finn. His cheeks are red. But he never blushes out of flattery. It's been a rare occasion but this shade of red is definitely one I've seen before. He's angry.

"If you're talking about me then we can stop beating around the bush and just get to the point. Violet, I'm sorry you came all the way out here but I'm not interested. I don't know what you thought was going to happen or why you thought you should… yes we spent some time together while you were in Four and I'm sorry if I led you on-"

"This is what you wanted, you said it yourself!" I cut him off and call attention to every other conversation we've ever had.

Tight lipped he starts again. "I'm sorry if I led you on. I can't help who gets a crush on me and who develops feelings for me. I'm trying to let you down gently. I'm not the _one _for you." He finishes earnestly and places his hand on top of mine just for a second before pulling away.

Why is he pretending like I'm not the one he was talking about? How can he sit there and reject me as if I'm just another silly girl with a silly crush?

"What... what about…" I stammer. And then collect myself. I am not going to let him prolong the act. This is not a game anymore. I love him and I am not afraid of saying so.

"Finnick Odair, there is no one else for me. I realize that now. And I don't care who knows. Or what they think. Or what…what they'll say." I reach for him but he catches my hand before I can get too close.

He gnaws nervously on his bottom lip. This should be enough for him. Why isn't this working? I've said it. Almost.

"You are young. You are sweet. You are… perfect. But not for me. This…" He touches my hair. "… isn't you." He waves one hand at the crowd. "This isn't you. I realize that now. What I did was wrong. I can see… you are perfect just the way you are. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression you had to be more for me. You shouldn't have to give up anything. Please forgive me Violet but… I can't be with you."

And up goes the wall. Back into my tiny hole I crawl. He's right. This isn't me. This is not where I want to be. It took being driven to near insanity to get me here, plus the never-ending speeches from every member of my family on how I shouldn't lose Finn. But did I want to? The attention my rejection is going to bring is far less than what it would be if Finn and I were to walk off this stage hand in hand.

The lights are beating down me and the air is getting harder and harder to breath. I glance at the side exit and back at Finn. His smile is sad but knowing. "It's ok. You didn't know," he says softly.

I twitch as he reaches a hand to my cheek, gently wiping away a tear with his thumb. "Everything's going to be ok." He looks into my eyes and it's everything I can do not to run out on him right then and there. I don't believe him. I want to. But I don't.

He leans in just a bit closer turning my head. I know what he's going to do. He's going to kiss me on my cheek and send me on my way. A final kiss…

That's the thought that terrifies me most. That's the nightmare that's haunted my sleepless nights. He did make me choose but I made the wrong choice. For better or worse… Everything with him is better. Every second apart from him was worse than anything else I could possible lose.

I catch his lips with mine and find his collar with my hands, pulling him in so hard he doesn't even have a chance to do anything but let our lips stay locked together. I kiss him with every intention of never letting him go.

He shudders as we part. "What are you doing?"

"I love you… you and only you. It's always been you. It's only going to be you. I'm not going anywhere ever again and neither are you." I say it with so much sincerity I'm surprised when I hear the confusion in the audience's reaction. They think I'm still just a naive girl with a crush on Finn.

"You don't…" he tries to pries me off but I tighten my grip.

"I do! I love you and I want the world to know. I can't live another day without you Finn… please."

Instead of declaring his love as he's done a thousand times over in private he looks at me apologetically. He's still letting go of me. "Violet…I-"

He's cut off by his own voice in the background. "When will you ever learn Mellark? There is no escaping me. I can't promise we won't have two unexpected guests though. I mean what can I say? Women love me."

"Just remember I love you more."

He looks behind me at the large screen showing the two of us in an embrace in my parents' kitchen. "There will come a day when you will know without a doubt how much I love you. And it's going to hit you so hard you'll think you've died of pure ecstasy. In case you aren't already aware how much I am impossibly, eternally, deeply in love with you," he says before we end our embrace in a kiss. Rowan caught that scene with his camera without either of noticing. Plan Z. Thank goodness someone was thinking ahead that far to bring along the only proof of our love that wasn't hidden away in my mind.

My gaze is completely fixated on Finn's reaction. His eyes flutter back to mine. Green eyes reflecting the love he declared in that moment back at me again. "I know," I whisper to him. "Now do you?"

Slowly… gently… this time he kisses me. I feel him come back and I know it was all worth it.

**_~ 2 chapters left ~_**


	14. Chapter 14

My gaze is completely fixated on Finn's reaction. His eyes flutter back to mine. Green eyes reflecting the love he declared in that moment back at me again. "I know," I whisper to him. "Now do you?"

Slowly… gently… this time he kisses me. I feel him come back and I know it was all worth it.

It was more than worth it. Answering every one of Plutarch's questions. Revealing how we fell in love, our time in Four, what happened during what were almost our last days together in Twelve. All worth it to have Finn breathing in my arms again.

Finn took over as the questions turned towards our future. Playfully deflecting them with "_I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. Someone here seems to have trouble keeping secrets." _

The pull of the audience wasn't great enough to keep Finn from pulling me off stage to question me more directly. _I couldn't get you to feign slight interest in me with your parents around and then you make the proclamation heard around the world? This isn't going to be over any time soon. We're going to be followed, they're going to hunt us down to get any and every shot of us together. Even when we're apart-"_

_"Never," I say. "Never are we ever going to be apart again. You thought I was crazy before? Let me tell you something Finnick Odair, if you ever, EVER, try to leave or even hint at leaving again I can't promise you we'll both be walking off that stage alive next time."_

_His lips curl into a smile. "I suppose that rule doesn't go both ways?"_

_"You're the expert on me, aren't you? What do you think?"  
_

_"Just when I thought my troubles were over..."  
_

* * *

"If you wanted me back so badly you could have also just done this," he pants as I kiss away the tears rolling down his cheeks. We've never come together so intimately, me sitting in his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, him still inside of me.

"Next time, answer the phone and we could have skipped the sideshow," I tease.

He smiles and lays kisses up and down my neck, caressing my backside with his warm hands. My eyes flicker closed the more he kisses but I force them open, just as I did the entire time we swayed together. I struggled to show the same desire and want that came so easily for Finn to show but this time… this time he was the one whose heart and body was overcome by my intensity.

"Do you have any idea the agony I went through to get you here?" I'm still teasing but I don't mind reminding him so I never have to experience that again.

"Hmm, do you mean your makeover courtesy of the prep team?

"That is exactly what I mean." I couldn't get out of that dress quick enough. Fortunately Finn had the same desire and it was off seconds after the door was closed – and locked.

He looks up at me in adoration. "I have to admit I was impressed you went to such lengths. Not only did you show up on stage where I least expected you but you went through their rigorous beauty treatments. With only slight improvements."

I furrow my brow. "Such as?"

"You skin is even more kissable soft. And your dress came off quicker than your clothes usually do."

I giggle. "By mere seconds."

"I've learned every second counts with you."

Brushing his lips across my jaw he pauses at my mouth. And we just breathe into each other. Staring. Caressing.

"Ask me Finn."

This gives him pause. "What if you run?" I look down at us enveloped in each other. This is the least likely position I could ever escape from, would ever want to escape from.

"You'll catch me. And then we'll have to do this again." I rock into him and begin our motions again.

He responds by pulling me in tighter, hardening inside of me and rocking with me.

"Violet…" he says with uncertainty.

"Finnick… ask me." I hold his face and lock eyes with him, while our bodies still sway into each other. "Please," I plead.

"If I must…"

I kiss him. "You must."

"If this is what you want…"

I kiss him again. "I want."

Finn slows us down and takes my hands in his. "It took a single moment for me to know what I wanted. I wanted you to be mine. I needed you to be mine. I will always love you Violet, unkempt or polished, brave or irrational, you are the one for me. Life is only worth living if you let me live it with you. Say yes…marry me…"

I tell him my answer. And we become what we were meant to be. One.

**_~ 1 chapter left ~_**


	15. Chapter 15

Finn slows us down and takes my hands in his. "It took a single moment for me to know what I wanted. I wanted you to be mine. I needed you to be mine. I will always love you Violet, unkempt or polished, confident or irrational, you are the one for me. Life is only worth living if you let me live it with you. Say yes…marry me…"

I tell him my answer. And we become what we were meant to be. One.

I will admit I've been more than irrational as of late. Enough to make Finn engage in deep breathing rituals in an effort to stay calm. But not enough to force either one of us apart. Nevertheless today is a new day. Anything could happen. And I've made a decision. One I'm not so sure he's prepared for.

It's another gorgeous day in Four. Bright, sunny, the ocean wind is carelessly blowing over the white sand on the beach. Finn has a firm grip on my hand as we walk down the shoreline to the dock. Most likely to keep me from bolting now with hundreds of eyes on us. The anxiety of being in public with him hasn't dissipated like I had hoped. The glare of the spotlight has been a sore point. I'd rather have my life choices examined by Haymitch. Fortunately with Rowan's engagement he's managed to at least make it bearable. It's like a tag team. One day he's in the news. The next day I am. They will get bored of us eventually Finn tells me. Well that day hasn't arrived yet.

"I think we should talk." I say.

"Now?" he asks. I try to stay as quiet as possible in public so nothing I say can be misconstrued but I've been harboring another secret. And it's been eating me up inside for so long I don't think I can hold it in any longer.

"I've been feeling this way for sometime now and I just think, well, I…"

"Are you breaking up with me?" His smiling teeth are tight through his astonishment.

"Don't tell me you're surprised,' I say. "I've noticed a difference in you too."

"It has crossed my mind," he concedes. "But there's just one problem.

I look around, wondering how much people are hearing of this. "What?"

"I think you've ruined me for other women. I mean sure we could move on, find someone else, but it won't be the same."

"So you're saying I'll just need to settle for you?"

"I meant you'll never find someone as amazing as me but if settling will make you stay than so be it."

I sigh. "Maybe we need to make a change, add something to our lives to make it more exciting."

"So you weren't having fun last night? Or this morning?"

A flush rushes to my cheeks which will only cause the beach-goers to stare more. "I didn't say that. But there's more to life than just… that."

Grinning as we step onto the dock he takes a moment to kiss me, stretching one hand around my waist. "Well if you're not satisfied I could work harder. There must be something I can do to-"

I pull him to walk further onto the dock. This is not how I thought the conversation was going to go.

"Eager to get this over with? Skipping out is still an option, then we could back to our room."

As if we could just abandon our own wedding now. Of course if I were the first to take off no one would really question it. But who needs to add fuel to the fire of is Violet Mellark actually going to go through with her marriage to Finn Odair?

I ignore his offer and continue my march down the aisle of the dock where my parents, his mother, Haymitch, Rowan and a very pleased Plutarch - who Finn asked to conduct the wedding - are waiting. Boats surround us with the press aiming their cameras in our direction. I do my best to not take notice and pretend we're just going for a walk on the dock. I'm using my powers for good now. Instead of pretending Finn and I aren't together I just pretend the world has no interest in us. It doesn't always work but it's the only way I've made it this far down the aisle.

Only a few more steps and all I have to do is talk about how much I love Finn and life can move on.

"Hold on," he says halting my purposeful march.

He lets go of my hand exposing it to the cold sea air for the first time today. "I'll give you one more chance, you can back out. I don't have to marry you to be with you."

He's said this nearly as much as he's told me he loves me. Afraid I'm just doing this to please him. That he's pressured me into doing this just so I won't lose him again. Some of my anxiousness seems to have unfortunately rubbed off on him. One more reason why this is the right choice.

"I just walked past hundreds of people I don't know, the rest of the world is watching us right now on television, my father is crying he's so happy right now, and I'm pretty sure Haymitch is going to tear up any second and you're asking me now if I want to back out?"

Unnerved with how many people would be upset Finn says, "I just want you to be happy. If this isn't what you want-"

I kiss my needy husband-to-be. If he needs me to be happy he should have nothing to worry about. As long as I have him, I have everything I'll every want.

The kiss starts to get a little more serious as he kisses me back. Rowan decides this is the time to interrupt things. "Unless you two want to make a baby in front of Panem you should probably finish this after the ceremony."

Finn scowls at Rowan, not wanting the mention of children to scare me off either. The last subject of our future we've barely discussed. He's said he's content with marriage. I'll make his life complete… but I know he wants more. I also know something he doesn't.

Finn takes my hand and asks me, "You're sure then? No turning back?"

One step at a time Mellark. First comes love. Then comes announcing it to the world. Then comes marriage. Then I'll tell him tonight. When it's just the two of us. That soon enough it will be three of us.


End file.
